Resolution
by indianpipe
Summary: After a series of situations involving Hermione, a student and old friends Snape realizes he must make a change. Now complete. Please read and review.
1. Default Chapter

Resolution 

For last year's words belong to last year's language  
And next year's words await another voice.  
And to make an end is to make a beginning.  
T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

The staff meetings were always held in the faculty room. It was suitable with its large space and two round tables, it could accommodate all the teachers if need be. Severus was at the head going over the activities leading up to Christmas break. He appeared to be as unenthusiastic as usual and Hermoine wondered why he had ever accepted the Head position. Why for that matter he had even stayed at Hogwarts, supposedly he despised children, and disliked his colleagues. Once the final battle was over last winter Hermoine assumed he would probably just disappear, lose himself in the multitudes, finally absolved of the debt he owed Dumbledore. She and Harry had speculated over his allegiance until very close to the end, but there could be no denying it, Severus was loyal, if he had not stepped in between Dumbledore and Voldemort, locked in a battle of wills, Albus would have perished, already exhausted from years of holding everything together

Severus must have sensed Hermoine's inattention and exploited the situation by assigning her the task of organizing an alumni Christmas party. She only realized when he said, " Miss Granger", for the second time and she responded with a, "yes" that her "yes" had deposited her as chief organizer of the alumni Christmas party.

"Professor Dumbledore has requested this event as a way to bow out formally from his position. It is true that the students and their parents are aware the new situation is permanent but, as he has said, many of 'our' old friends must be told personally." Hermoine snorted softly at Snape's very careful use of the words 'our friends'. He was despising every moment of Albus' idea and Hermoine knew full well he was trying to dump the preparations off on someone else. She stared up at him when he finished speaking and they locked eyes for an instant, her former doubts of his loyalty flushed her with embarrassment and in this moment she accepted the proffered task without a fuss.

"Professor Dumbledore will be very grateful for your help Miss Granger. He has suggested that we meet in his office after dinner this evening to prepare a guest list."

Hermoine nodded her approval, realizing that Albus probably knew Severus would choose her to plan the event.

After dinner she proceeded to the tower that held the headmaster's office. _Curious thing, she thought, that Albus kept his stately office, even though for all intense and purposes Professor Snape was acting Head. I wonder if he will relinquish this place once everyone knows that he is stepping down formally_, she was musing over where he would live when someone behind her said, " Good and Plenty."

She turned to find Snape staring straight ahead, "I neglected to give you the new password at the meeting…you have been kept waiting…"

Was he apologizing?

The massive stone statue moved to reveal the winding staircase and Hermoine turned to catch the first step.

"Miss Granger, a moment."

She stepped back and they had missed their chance and would have to invoke the password again.

"Miss Granger…I have a request."

Hermoine smiled, "Do you mean in addition to planning the alumni party?" It's true she hadn't made a fuss but she wanted him to realize it would be a stressful time for her, leading up to Christmas, what with all her potions classes and aiding Madame Pomfrey with supplies for the infirmary.

Snape's eyes lowered for a moment in some kind of recognition. "I would like this party…this grand exit…if you will…" Hermoine could see Snape was disapproving of the idea… "To be handled with some gentility." Snape spoke softly and Hermoine could not read his expression, it seemed to impart both worry and questioning.

"Gentility…sir?"

"You must realize Miss Granger, that Albus is not well. Professor McGonagall and I have covered for him as best we could but he is slipping away from us." Hermoine had never seen or heard such tender words from her former Potions Professor.

"But surely something can be done. A potion…perhaps ginger root and …"

"It has all been tried Miss Granger…" he shook his head slowly, rebuffing her hopefulness. " You have never seen a wizard die of old age Miss Granger, you have no elders of our kind. It is this way at the end, the energy seeps away, the memories and dreams become the reality, and then there is sleep."

Hermoine's eyes stung with her attempt to keep them open, for she knew tears would be released if she blinked.

" I don't want people at the party to realize his decline. I want them to believe he is retiring to a blissful life of relaxation."

Hermoine slowly nodded in agreement. She wasn't sure why Snape felt this way but he had never really asked anything of her before and she felt she owed him something for destroying Voldemort and saving Harry.

"I will do my best to distract the guests and keep Albus' decline from discovery."

"I thank you for this." Snape straightened and spoke forcefully to the statue… "Good and Plenty!"

Hermoine lied in her bed thinking of all the tasks that needed to be completed before Christmas. Tests, grading, a trip to Hogsmeade for shopping, replenishing the pepper up potion, the invitations for the alumni dance and now after meeting with Albus, an alumni Quidditch match before the party was scheduled as well. She wouldn't be happy until she had it all written out in blocks of time. Her old study habits had been useful to her now as a teacher, time was always short and self- discipline was crucial.

Snape's actions had been very strange that evening. He was so concerned about Albus' decline and yet Professor Dumbledore seemed quite lucid at the meeting. He looked tired but his wit and manners still sparked in conversation. Did Snape think everyone would feel sorry for him, or even worse mock him? No, it couldn't be, but then again she had to remember the person she was dealing with, Snape was very distrustful and often times a paranoid person, and years of spying had no doubt exacerbated these original character flaws. She would have to proceed with caution, accommodating both her friends desire to visit with and pay tribute to Albus' career and Snape's irrational fear of Albus being exposed somehow, with these worries Hermoine fell into a light sleep.

Potions Class was a mix of facts, intuition and focus, some students excelled in one area or another but few excelled at all three. Terry Watts was a beacon in a sea of, Hermoine hated the expression, but snorted to herself for admitting its truth, ' dunderheads'. How could so many students get the same things wrong each year? Terry, on the other hand was brilliant, he had already started OWL level potions work in his second year. Snape had spotted him in his first year and began giving him extra credit assignments. Hermoine was a bit put out when she first heard this but she realized he couldn't have played favorites with a Gryffindor at that time, with the final battle looming so close. Terry had the advantage of being a Slytherin and so Snape was allowed to indulge. When Albus had sent for Hermoine to take over the potions position Snape had informed her of Mr. Watt's passion for potions. Hermoine had continued the extra credit and had now begun to allow Terry to assist her in helping Poppy stock the infirmary. He never made potions alone but she did allow him to bottle label and prep all the ingredients alone.

It was late Tuesday afternoon and Terry was in her lab preparing the ingredients for the pepper up potion Hermoine was going to brew, hopefully the last batch until the New Year.

"Terry, are you going home for the holidays?"

"No ma'am I'm staying over this year." He sounded resolved.

The deadness of his voice reminded Hermoine of how impertinent her question had been, of course he'd be staying over, his mother and father had both been indicted as Voldemort supporters and been sentenced to 10 years in Azkaban prison. There were many Slytherins in the same position and Severus had saw to it that most of the children were allowed to remain at Hogwarts, either through scholarship or through a fund that McGonagall and he had set up after the war. Terry was one of many of these 'temporary orphans', waiting for their parents to serve their time in jail.

"Have you heard that we are to have an alumni Christmas ball after the other students leave? Albus has agreed that the students who remain over the Christmas break may attend the ball as well as the alumni Quidditch match." Hermoine tried to brighten the boy's mood with other thoughts.

"Perhaps we will get to see our Head of House in action then?" Terry looked up with a mischievous grin.

"How so?" Hermoine asked.

"You do know that he was a Quidditch player?"

Hermoine's eyes widened, but she quickly caught herself from gaping. "No, I didn't?"

"Yes, and legend has it in Slytherin house, is that he was brilliant."

"Really…I knew he refereed on occasion but I had no idea he took that much of an interest in sports."

Terry looked thoughtful, his dark hair swept to the side and his lanky body still over the butcher block where he had been interrupted from slicing ingredients.

"If this can wait a moment," he gestured to the ingredients. " I want to show you something." His eyes were alight with anticipation and Hermoine very much wanted to indulge, it wasn't often that he seemed excited.

She stole a command from her former Potions Master and said, "Proceed" He was gone in a flash and left Hermoine wondering what he could be fetching to show her, it was seldom that Terry offered any extra sentences to their conversations and this sudden enthusiasm was very entertaining and not less than a bit curious.

Within 5 minutes he was back with a thick book tucked under his arm. He placed it on the table and Hermoine could see it was a photo album. Terry flipped through to the back. There in the center was a photo of Severus Snape 'keeper' for Slytherin House. He looked much different, his hair a bit longer, tied back with a black cord, thinner but his facial features softer. Hermoine could barely believe her eyes. In the photo Snape had just defended the goal and was raising his arms with his teammates in a show of pride.

"Terry, I'm finding this hard to believe."

"Oh it's true Professor Granger. He only played for one year but Slytherin took the House cup."

"But if he was so good why did he quit?" Hermoine was fixed on the picture and hadn't heard someone enter the lab.

"Because he was smart enough to realize that there is more to life than sports…as well as idle gossip…Professor Granger!" Snape had entered silently and now stood behind Terry and Hermoine.

"Sir…we didn't hear you come in…" Hermoine tried to regain her composure.

"Indeed" Snape was not happy and his raised voice made his shoulders shake.

"It's just a bit of History sir." Terry shrugged and looked over his shoulder at Snape. Hermoine was surprised Terry would take such liberties with Snape, she was curious to see his reaction, for she knew in her day it would have been 50 points at least.

"Mr. Watts, not all History is valuable to us, some is just time being filled." Hermoine noted that his tone had quieted when he spoke to the boy. " I suggest you put that ancient history back where you found it and concentrate on the here and now…" Snape gestured to the forgotten ingredients, half sliced on the table. "…Poppy will be needing that pepper up soon with the cold weather taking hold." Terry obeyed Snape's request, closed the book and made his way out of the lab to return it.

Once the boy was gone Snape turned to Hermoine, " Miss Granger, I would prefer if you would not speculate on my past, present, or future with the children."

"It was harmless, the boy was excited that his Head of House may be playing in the alumni Quidditch match…are you by the way?"

"Certainly not!"

"Oh come…your Slytherins would get a kick out of seeing you play, all of us would." Hermoine tried a more casual approach to speaking with him, since it seemed to work for Terry.

"I'm sure everyone would love to have a kick at my expense…not least of all your particular class." Snape had picked up the knife that Terry had left and began chopping ingredients.

"I don't think that's true… that's not what I was trying to say at all. It's true that the students feared you, well…and yes even hated you at times but most of us know now that it was an act, a role you played as spy, to cover yourself in front of the Slytherins that might go back and tell their parents you were being to kind and could never possibly be loyal to Voldemort." Hermoine watched Snape's hands as he chopped and diced, he was intent upon the precision of his cut and never looked up.

"It wasn't all an act, usually I was that frustrated and disgusted… Longbottom alone nearly did in my patience."

"Then why do you remain…if you don't mind me asking?" Hermoine was shaky about this question; she had never had such a personal conversation with her former Professor.

Severus finally looked up from his chopping, right into Hermoine's eyes, " I find that I can't refuse Albus. He has asked me to stay on until everything quiets down and is running smoothly…a year perhaps. I will probably leave then…" Snape hesitated and then went back to chopping, he was quiet for a moment and then spoke. "Minerva is leaving with him…She will be announcing it to the staff on Friday and then formally at the alumni party."

Hermoine's ears rang with the sound of her heart beating. She would be almost alone at Hogwarts. How would she manage without Minerva giving her advice and friendship, without Albus to love and admire her and without…even Snape, to be a what… she wasn't sure what…but it was steady and predictable and she was sure now she would miss him too.

"How will you replace Minerva, she does so much; Head of Gryffindor, Assistant to the Head, and Transfiguration Professor."

"Please…I know it will be very difficult…we will have to lower our expectations for any sort of replacement. I would just settle with a decent Transfiguration teacher."

"Perhaps someone at the alumni party?" Hermoine spoke her thought.

"Must we populate the whole of Hogwarts with my former students?"

"Some of the guests will be your contemporaries." Snape hesitated in his cutting action for just long enough to reveal to Hermoine that he had not thought of that fact.

"Does that bother you, sir?" Hermoine responded to his hesitation.

"Miss Granger, have you not yet realized that everything bothers me?"

Snape added all the ingredients he had finished chopping to a cauldron he had begun simmering while they were talking.

"Well, half your work is complete, not by the Slytherin you intended but nonetheless adequate I expect." Snape smirked ever so slightly and Hermoine's eyes blinked in confusion, then with quick understanding she peered inside the cauldron and sniffed, " A bit rakish on the angle of the cutting but acceptable I suppose."

Snape smiled faintly and nodded before he left.


	2. Exposure

Thank you to all my reviewers. This is a first for me and the reviews made me feel so good about my decision to upload my story. Hope you enjoy.

I think I forgot a disclaimer last time so here goes:

Disclaimer: The world and characters of Harry Potter are not mine and never have been and never will be. J.K.R and various other companies lay claim. I have no intention of selling or making any profit from this story.

Acceptance owls were coming in a steady stream for the last two days and Hermione was trying desperately to sort through them. Before her first morning class she ducked into the staff room and while she waited to meet with Professor Snape she settled herself on a comfortable sofa near the window so she could read through the most recent responses. The first one she picked up was from Arthur and Molly Weasley.

Dear Hermione,

We would love to attend both the Alumni Quidditch match and the Christmas party, what a wonderful idea. Arthur has taken to practicing after work, its been a bit difficult since the children all live in other places now, no competition you see, but I think it encourages him that he can make every goal himself. He comes in and says he's positively "pumps up" for the match, then he tells me we need to do a "hive", which entails him giving me a pat on the behind. It must be a muggle sports thing, perhaps something to do with bees? Maybe you can explain better when I see you.

Miss you much,

Love,

Molly and Arthur Weasley

Hermione giggled out loud while rereading the letter. It was comforting that the Weasley's never changed.

"Professor Granger, I should think that you have little time for levity with your current list of responsibilities?" Snape had come in to meet with her on the plans for the party and match.

"Hermione wiped the tears away that had resulted from Molly's letter.

"When Arthur Weasley starts to use Muggle terminology I'm done for." Hermione shook her head in mirth, thinking of Arthur racing around the boy's makeshift quidditch field at the burrow.

"I suppose the entire Weasley clan will be descending upon us?"

"Well of course, they are all alumni." Hermione watched as Snape crossed the room and took a seat in one of the wing-backed chairs near the fireplace.

Hermione straightened up a bit and looked over at Snape. "We have a problem about the Quidditch match."

"No one wants to play?" Snape's tone sounded hopeful.

"No sir, everyone wants to play. The problem is that Slytherin is coming in very under represented. We are short two players, even if every other house concedes to play with two less and sub in." Hermione kept her voice clear and steady but inside she was nervous with anticipation.

"All of our best players are probably in Azkaban." Snape mused as he prodded the fire with the hand iron, the embers had gone cold and only tiny specks of red glowed as he poked at the charred logs. Silence filled the space between them and Hermione looked on afraid to speak.

A commotion outside the staff room severed the tension and Hermione and Snape gave a query look to each other and rose from their seats. Minerva burst into the room.

" Severus, come quick, out by the lake, spotted him from the owlry!" McGonagall was out of breath as she directed Severus to the door.

"Hermione you'd best alert Poppy…student unconscious and who knows what else…we'll be along quick." Snape had already gone, Hermione could see him sprinting for the front entrance.

A cold wind swept across the front entrance of the castle and Snape had to pull his hair back to get a view of the lake in the distance. He spied the form, lying still, close to the edge. The tall grasses stuck out from beneath a thin crust of frost. Severus ran, his black teaching robes caught in the wind's determination. His insides narrowed as the students face came into sight. Mr. Watts lay at an odd angle, his feet halfway down the bank of the lake, his arms raised above his head. Snape knelt down, he was breathing but the coloring around his mouth was tinged with a subtle violet blue.

Snape removed his robes and covered the boy's shoulders and torso, fighting against the instinct to gather him up and run to the castle, he pulled out his wand, conjured a stretcher. Once he had levitated him up on the stretcher he performed a warming charm, he saw the boy stir and knew then that he had probably made it in time.

"Shush now, you'll be fine." Snape laid a hand over his chest and gently settled him back down. Terry lay still with his eyes closed. Snape was unsure if he had slipped back into unconsciousness.

Minerva had reached the spot and concern left her with only a whisper. "Is he alive?"

Snape nodded, "We need to move quickly Minerva, the boy needs more than just a warming charm." Snape grasped the end of the stretcher and pushed the floating gurney toward the castle. Minerva hurried alongside.

"What has happened? Do you suspect foul play…oh dear?" Minerva fretted.

"We shall have to wait." Snape knew McGonagall was best in action, he had realized this most acutely now that he was acting Head.

"Perhaps you should question some of Mr. Watt's roommates? Denforth and Perry, they should be in the Great Hall at this time, just starting breakfast." Severus waited for McGonagall's response.

"Yes, that's a good idea." Minerva gladly took the offer of acting as interrogator.

When they reached the castle Minerva headed for the Great Hall. Fortunately, the corridors were deserted, breakfast had been served just a few moments prior and Snape was grateful for this shred of privacy. He knew it would only take one student to see Terry in such a state and by lunch the entire school would have seven different wild speculations on the events.

"Poppy!" Snape guided the stretcher to a bed and Madame Pomfrey came quickly with her wand out for diagnosing.

Hermione had alerted Madame Pomfrey that there was a student, possibly unconscious, being brought in by Professor Snape, but that was all she knew and she started when she saw it was Terry. His black hair matted to his brow and his pale skin brushed with an unhealthy hue of blue evoked an instinct in her that she had previously reserved only for Harry. 

Severus transferred him to the bed with care, looking on as Poppy began a thorough exam.

"He's bleeding from the back of the head." Poppy eased her hand behind his head and lifted, blood had stained the pillowcase and her hand, she examined it, felt its consistency as though its texture would explain its presence.

The jostling had roused Terry and his eyes fluttered open.

"What…what am I doing here?" He was confused and then he stared at a fixed point for a moment, tapping his memory.

Snape moved in close and furrowed his brow. "I found you down by the lake…unconscious…have you any recollection of how you got there…did someone hurt you?" Snape spoke very quietly and Hermione was reminded of her conversation with him before seeing Dumbledore about the alumni party. His manner was tense but soothing, a contradictory combination that seemed to help him connect. She wondered if this was a tactic the deatheater's employed.

Terry swallowed painfully, his throat was dry and when he spoke it sounded hoarse. "It was my own fault."

Snape glanced at Hermione to see if she shared his confusion. She shook her head slightly to indicate that she had no idea what he was on about.

Madam Pomfrey interrupted with three quick vials of liquid followed by two healing spells. "If he doesn't catch cold from the exposure I think he should be just fine in a few hours." Pomfrey gathered her vials and headed for her office, no doubt to fill out the appropriate chart and paperwork.

When she had finished Terry stirred and lifted his right hand above the blanket. Hermione noted that his skin looked better on his hands and face and he was breathing steady. He turned over his fist, palm up, to reveal a brown withered head of Queen Anne's lace, at least that's what she called it as a little girl. The significance of the brown flower head was lost on Severus, he looked at the boy befuddled.

"I was gathering ingredients…" he stopped to swallow. Severus poured him some water from the pitcher on the nightstand. He drank and resumed, "…I must have slipped on the ice and hit my head."

"Ingredients…ingredients for what?" Severus asked.

Hermione looked up from the flower head. " Daucos carota…it's for the draught of indecision." She explained to Snape while looking at Terry in puzzlement.

"I assigned a group project this term, four students per group had to combine their talents to pick, prepare, research and finally brew the draught of indecision…" Severus looked uncharacteristically impressed by the idea.

"What I don't understand is why Mr. Watts, you are picking when the four of you had decided weeks ago that you would be the brewer?" Hermione queried.

Terry pulled himself up a bit on his pillow, slowly, for he could still detect a dull pain in the back of his skull not completely masked by Madame Pomfrey's potions.

"They can't be trusted."

"Who can't be trusted?" Snape put his hand on his hip and turned to face Terry straight on.

"My group; Denforth, Perry, Gosworth, they're fools, they have no clue about the subtleties of potion brewing. They mash and stir and their results are always substandard." Terry was looking down, unable to meet the eyes of his professors.

Hermione turned to adjust the drapes, not wishing to show the smile that had planted itself on her mouth at Terry's admission.

Snape rose from his chair his black hair hung in his face, almost obscuring his vision of the boy. " So you decided to gather your own materials at what…from the look of your skin color when I found you I'd guess 4 am? ...ingredients that your classmates had probably already gathered a few weeks prior. Why did you not simply check with them to see if perhaps they had forgotten?"

"They would have lied or if they had, I'm sure they would have mangled them in the process. If the lace head does not retain each shoot the strength of the indecision draught will be to weak."

"Terry, I think you are being unduly harsh on your classmates…aren't Denforth and Perry your roommates?" Hermione drew back into the conversation.

" I know you were Gryffindor Professor Granger so you don't realize that being roommates in Slytherin house doesn't mean much, we're not automatically loyal to each other just because we were unlucky enough to have to room together."

Hermione raised her gaze to Snape but spoke to Terry. " Is that right…well you have taught me something Mr. Watts." Snape broke eye contact and looked down at the end of Terry's bed.

"Mr. Watts I think you have punished yourself enough for being out past curfew…or before sunrise…whichever you choose. I will allow Miss Granger to decide if you receive an F for your troubles. I have a school to run." Snape got up to leave but instead walked back towards Poppy's office.

" I'm not going to give you an F Terry but I do think you should reconsider your classmates. Some of them have great talent in other subjects and some are quite adept at different aspects of potions, which was what the assignment was supposed to illustrate. I think the only punishment I will give is to make you watch your group complete the draught without being allowed to participate and accept whatever grade they earn."

"But you know I can brew that potion." Terry pleaded.

"I have no doubt that you can but you need to see that others may be able to as well."

Terry tilted his head in a doleful resolve.

"You should rest for a while and then join us for dinner if you are feeling better."

" Yes Professor Granger."

Hermione left the Hospital Wing with an unsettled feeling, in the old days the house rivalries helped to define her and her friend's purpose but now that the threat of Voldemort was gone the whole system seemed divisive. She shook her head in disdain over the thought of a young boy being so alone in a world anew with promise.

Classes droned on and that same stirring in her stomach over Terry had sent her to her office after dinner. She had received a response from Harry for the Alumni party and quidditch match. She hoped somehow his letter would comfort her.

Dear Hermione,

So good to hear from you! I am buried under manuals and procedure codes at the Ministry; no one told me this was going to be so much like school. You would be proud of me, I have written out a study plan, just like the old ones you used to make for Ron and me. The only problem is I still don't stick to them, but they are a good way of procrastinating before having to dive into the next codebook. There is a carrot at the end, in three months I'll move on to field training. Aurors must complete six months in the field before their next phase and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone before that begins.

Ron and Ginny send their love and would like me to tell you they are most definitely coming to the party and quidditch match.

Who will play for Slytherin? All their best players are in Azkaban.

Can't wait to catch up at the party.

Yours truly,

Harry

Hermione smiled at the line about Slytherin. Severus and Harry had a similar trait of speaking the truth. She thought of Harry sitting at a desk at the ministry, piled high with law and codebooks, wading through each one dutifully. No one could throw anything at Harry now that seemed too arduous a task or to lengthy a time to wait. Harry had seen it all but still he had retained his…what…good humor…well yes and no…more like his humility.

She was interrupted from her thoughts by a rap on the door.

"Come in."

Snape entered, looking tired. "I have decided to play in the quidditch match…for Slytherin."

"Oh…um…here…you can add your name to the list." She opened her drawer to retrieve her parchment with all the player's names, trying to remain nonchalant.

"How is Mr.Watts?" Hermione produced the scroll and spread it out for him to sign.

Severus dipped his quill, but before beginning the "S" he replied, "He is out of danger…for the moment…" Snape's brow knitted and he looked up at Hermione. "…I hope there will be no lasting effects from the exposure." He signed his name quickly, replaced the pen and bid her a goodnight.


	3. nipping at your potion?

Hermione sat at the head table, flanked by Snape and Flitwick, ironic to be sandwiched between her most loved professor and her most hated, while she had been a student at Hogwarts. As she moved her food apathetically around her plate she wondered what the students thought of her, would she some day be as beloved as dear little Flitwick or would she fall into the all too general category of "tough but fair"? She was certain however that she would never be placed into Snape's column, "nasty and condescending", even now, with all evil vanquished he continued to alienate his students and make them shake in fear, although she noticed Terry was not so timid around him, but then Snape was not quite as menacing with him either.

It would unfortunately be a tough teacher kind of day for Hermione. Her second years were preparing and brewing the draught of indecision and she had banned Terry from participating. Hermione wondered if this is how a parent feels when they must follow through with some punishment they have issued out…awful bloody feeling.

She sighed and rose to leave through the teachers exit when she noticed Snape was walking next to her.

"Have you decided to give Mr. Watts a failing grade?" Snape questioned her while looking straight ahead, seemingly as though he hadn't spoken at all.

Hermione's resolve over her student's punishment was beginning to crumble.

"Oh dear…I don't know. I won't be giving him a failing grade but I've told him he must accept the grade his partner's receive, without participating, but instead only watching."

"Hmm…it seems you learned more in my class than merely potions."

Hermione turned her head to see Snape smirking ever so slightly.

Her stomach went sour at the thought of his approval over the punishment.

"…but now I'm wondering if that is too harsh. He is after all a very good student, enthusiastic...you know…I don't want to squelch that…but his contempt needs addressing and could in the long run overshadow his accomplishments. Hermione was talking more to herself now than Snape.

"I think perhaps Miss Granger that you have been sipping at some of your 'draught of indecision'?" Snape hid his concern behind the gentle tease.

Hermione laughed and her tension eased.

"You think I'm being soft but different students need different approaches."

"I agree."

"You may say you agree Professor but I've never seen evidence that you practice it yourself."

"Not true." Snape continued to stare ahead as they walked down the dungeon steps realizing he had no business down here and was in fact due in Minerva's office a few moments ago.

"Well, perhaps recently, now that you are at liberty to be more attentive with all the students."

"I have always thought of and treated my students as individuals Miss Granger, true that I was not at liberty in some areas but I varied my attitude toward all of you, according to what I thought you needed most."

Hermione snorted, "Varying degrees of wretchedness."

"Teachers should not be concerned with how much they are loved, this is not a popularity contest, it's a responsibility to give these children the skills they need to survive…" they rounded the corner to the Potions classroom and stood aside to let a few remaining students enter when all was clear Snape spoke again, "…and I think your plan for Mr. Watt's is quite perceptive." Snape nodded his head as an exit and headed back toward the dungeon stairs they had just come down.

Hermione turned to her class, feeling a bit heady from the compliment, that in all honesty, she had been waiting ten years to hear. She collected herself, feeling more confident and strode to the front of her class.


	4. hesitation

Note I've placed Kingsley Shaklebolt as a Slytherin alumni. I have no idea if he even went to Hogwarts but since this story is not canon I hope a little more fiction won't hurt. I 'd love some feedback. Thanks

Staff meeting

Hermione edged silently to the back of the faculty room, the last staff meeting before the Christmas Holidays was underway and she caught a glare from Professor Snape, no doubt for being 15 minutes late. There was nothing she could have done to prevent it, her first year potion students had left the room a mess and instead of trying to get them to clean up she just excused them, realizing their minds were distracted by the impending vaction. The students were leaving early tomorrow morning and each Head of House had to be sure everyone was packed and ready at the appropriate time.

Hermione could see that Snape was tense, he was after all, acting Head and still Head of House for Slytherin. It was a tough position and she was happy that her duties didn't include acting as a head of house as well, but now that she had met many of the Slytherins in her classes she wondered whether they didn't need someone as Head of their House with a lighter touch, someone to soften their edges and get them to trust each other more. Terry Watts was a good example of the Slytherin problem.

Hermione's musing broke off when Dumbledore entered. In the last few weeks it had been customary for Snape to hold the staff meeting without him, but it always felt hollow.

He shuffled in, immediately everyone made to greet him and see how he was feeling.

"Don't let me interrupt things…I see Severus has it all in hand…I knew he could keep everyone on track…wonderful in potions too…when the other children aren't bothering him…"

"When the other children aren't bothering him?" Hermione repeated the sentence back to her self and knitted her brow in confusion, everyone was quiet for a moment and she looked up to Severus. He caught her eye for a moment but he quickly changed the subject and continued giving instructions on the departure of the children tomorrow morning after an earlier than usual breakfast.

Hermione then got up to give details on the alumni party and Quidditch match, still dazed by the realization that perhaps Severus was not exaggerating about Albus' decline.

"….the party will start at 5pm, unless of course the Quidditch match runs long in which case we'll begin a 6pm, allowing some time of course for our players to freshen up…"

The teachers shuffled out quickly, in hopes of getting a few last minute details prepared before dinner. Severus was putting his notes away when Hermione approached him.

"That was the first time I've seen him falter." She said.

"Unsettling isn't it." He brought his head up to face her.

Hermione went cold. It dawned on her how hard this was for Severus, possibly more so than anyone else. Surely, they would all miss Albus but for Severus it was something more, it was love, maybe the only amount in his life right now…or ever. She couldn't help but stare, knowing it was improper but yearning in a strange way to want to understand him better.

"You seem to have this whole circus in hand Miss Granger." He looked away, changing the subject.

" I just hope we don't run into any surprises, but barring that…yes, I think it will be very enjoyable. You haven't changed your mind about Quidditch?" She tilted her head in question.

"Many times over the course of the last few days, but today you find me on the heads up side of the coin."

Hermione smiled and made to leave but Severus called her back.

"Miss Granger you haven't forgotten my request?...concerning Albus. Have you?"

"No, not at all, I'll be watching."

"Thank you." He made a small bow and followed her out the door.

The main entrance resembled rush hour at Victoria station; large trunks moving by all methods , magic and otherwise, the din of bellowed "goodbyes", "Merry Christmas'" and "Cheers" all magnified by the architecture. Hermione smiled to herself and imagined Albus on the stairs, erupting into one of his very infrequent but none the less effective echoing "SILENCE", but the stairs were empty and this gave her an unsettling feeling. Albus had always represented the authority, kindly, but most definitely in control, as she walked amongst the children, checking to see if they were prepared for their journey home she ruminated that Hogwarts and really the whole of the wizarding world was on a journey back home. Albus had comforted and protected them when the threat of Voldemort loomed but now a change was taking place and Hermione wondered where she would fit into this new time and what her role at Hogwarts would be.

A group of first years, mostly Gryffindor, grouped around her. "Professor Granger we hope you have a lovely holiday. Are you going home?"

Hermione smiled at the group, she could tell they all liked each other and would probably stick together for their whole time here at school.

"Thank you….and no I won't be going home…I'll be staying here at Hogwarts."

"So you'll be here when we get back."

Hermione was surprised by the question, of course she'd be here, they still had a half year of term left, but her thoughts softened, realizing that these children lived with upheaval and change. At the end of Voldemort's reign many families had been threatened and targeted by deatheaters, forcing them to flee from their homes and go into hiding, sometimes leaving family members behind.

"Yes, of course I'll be here."

"And all of you may be staying for the Holiday's as well if you don't stop crowding Professor Granger and mind the time." Snape ground out.

Hermione turned to Snape, hands on hips, brow low, looking as irritated as he possibly could, before she could control herself she let out a chuckle, by now the students had taken heed of their acting Head's advice and scattered to retrieve trunks and find a carriage to take them to the station in Hogsmead.

"Being friendly with your students is the fastest way to wear yourself out Miss Granger."

She watched him as he surveyed the hall, eagle eyes on anyone that may be out of step.

"They were worried that I was leaving, they see you as acting Head and know that change is in the offing."

Snape forcefully motioned to some lingering 6th years to move it along before turning back to face her.

"Its part of the process Miss Granger, they need to realize that change is inevitable."

Hermione watched the gangly 6th years walk out the double doors and vaguely uttered, "Perhaps."

Hermione declined an invitation to meet Harry, Ron, Ginny and the Twins at the Three Boomsticks that evening, she still had much to prepare and check on for the weekend activities. Menus, bedroom assignments, and making sure the Quidditch field was ready and clear for the match. It hadn't been easy but she had just enough alumni on each team, thankfully Kingsley Shaklebolt had finally agreed to play for his old house, Slytherin. Hermione had a sneaky suspicion Ron and Harry had some hand in his final capitulation but whatever the circumstances, right now she was relieved.

It hadn't snowed yet, and that was odd for Hogwarts. The winter had been mild so far and the sharp chill in the air she encountered made her shiver when she stepped outside the stadium shower room. She pulled her cloak around her tighter and set off for the castle at a quick clip, not noticing Ron and Harry flying on their brooms above.

"Oi! Hermione Granger, are you too good to say Hello to your old buddies."

Hermione looked up and saw them descending on either side, dismounting and falling into easy familiar step with her. She turned to Ron first, giving him a little hug and kiss hello and followed on her other side with Harry.

"So, Professor Granger, how goes the festivities?" Ron quipped

"Wonderful, everything seems to be falling into place. Where are Ginny and the Twins?"

"Coming tomorrow, Fred and George have to unstick Ginny first." Ron grinned and sent a knowing glance to Harry.

"Oh what did they do to her? Wait…on second thought… I don't want to know."

The three friends laughed together feeling all the warmth of their memories.

"I'm curious Hermione, we know Shaklebolt agreed to play for Slytherin…", another knowing glance was shot in Harry's direction, "…but who else did you get to fill out the team?"

Hermione hesitated before answering, she didn't know how she felt about Ron and Harry knowing that Snape was going to play in the match, part of her wanted them to know he could play and see how surprised they were, much the same way she was when Terry had shown her the photo album, but part of her was afraid they might make too much fun of the situation. It took her aback that she felt protective of Snape, and that she wanted to ensure that this one tentative step he was taking wouldn't be trod upon. She formulated the words carefully to seem nonchalant but all the time she had hesitated had built suspense.

"Well?" Ron knew something was up, she could tell by the half curious, half mischievous grin on his face.

She looked straight ahead, unable to face the impending expression on his face, "Snape has conceded to play keeper."

Ron snorted as if playing along with her joke, but when Hermione didn't laugh in kind he stopped walking, Harry and Hermione noticed and stopped, turning in his direction.

"You're joking." Ron's face contorted into an assured expression, with just enough glint in the eyes that Hermione knew that he was hoping against hope that Snape was actually going to be in the match.

"No Ron, he is playing."

Ron shook his head from side to side as if overwhelmed with the possibilities for jokes and snide remarks and trying desperately to relieve his brain from the overload.

At the very same moment Harry spoke up,

"I think he was keeper for one year on the Slytherin team, his first year at Hogwarts."

Hermione was shocked that Harry had known this and never divulged, what Ron would have thought a very juicy piece of gossip.

"What, no…you must have heard wrong?" Ron was so incredulous that Hermione snorted at his disbelief.

"No, it's true, it seems I even saw a photo of him playing."

Hermione remained silent and wondered when Harry could have seen that photo.

Ron on the other hand had turned from elated to peeved in that one sentence. "How could you not have told me mate? Think of the razzing we could have done?"

Harry put his head down…insecure about his decision, Hermione knew that look so well, she knew Harry had doubts about whether he was a good friend and a blunder like this made him very quiet.

"I guess I thought it was too personal…you know…sometimes you just don't want everyone to know about your past."

"But Harry, are you crazy, this is Snape…he would have eaten you for breakfast if Dumbledore had let him …and don't think if he had dug up a juicy bone like this one about you, me or Hermione that he wouldn't have hesitated to use it…at the worst time."

"I suppose." Hermione could tell that Harry wanted to drop the whole conversation, she knew he felt uncomfortable being at odds with Ron over anything but the fact of the matter was that Harry and herself had changed over the last two years and Ron hadn't.

"Why don't we have a nightcap in my office and catch up." Hermione changed the subject.

Ron died down and switched gears, "Yeah, that sounds good."

They kidded her about her office, lined with bookshelves, and that she was turning into Professor McGonagall. They discussed Harry's auror training and how he was almost finished and What Ron was up to at the Ministry, working for his Dad. They were well into their second nightcap when a knock on the door hushed their laughter.

Snape opened the door, even before Hermione could say 'enter', obviously engrossed with his task at hand, he didn't notice Ron and Harry in the guest chairs immediately.

"Miss Granger your handwriting is far better than mine and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind copying this one correspondence to the Governor's office for me, Minerva is tied up with something…."

Snape stared right at them, without saying a word, he hesitated, and in that moment Hermione imagined that everything that had transpired between them had been put into perspective, a more normal perspective. She beamed with a strange pride when he turned to them and in an overly formal voice said,

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, good evening."

There was no apology for barging in, no apology for interrupting old friends in conversation but Hermione knew that would have been too much, but she was content that it had been just enough.

Harry nodded, "Professor Snape."

Ron just looked dumbstruck and did the lesser of two evils and remained silent.

"I'd be glad to copy this over for you." Hermione moved around her desk to take the letter. "Do you need it tomorrow then?" She gave it a cursory glance.

"Yes, tomorrow by Owl post…before the festivities."

"I'll bring it to your office first thing."

"Thank you Miss Granger." Ron and Harry couldn't help raise their eyebrows over the thank you.

Snape left, without a goodbye and Hermione walked back around the table ready for the bombardment.

Ron got up, he couldn't hold back anymore. "He's got a sweet deal here, doesn't he? Hermione, with all you have to do for this weekend now you've got to copy over a bloody letter for him as well." Ron was incensed and he paced the room to expel his anger.

"Oh Ron it's nothing, it will take me a quarter hour at most, don't be silly." Hermione let Ron walk it off while she sat back and sipped her drink. A smile formed on her lips, this was the first time he had come with such a request, to her office. He always wrote his own correspondence, with a perfect handwriting, so Hermione could only surmise their had been something else on his mind and perhaps he was seeking her out for discussion. She looked over at Harry who was trying to convince Ron to calm down over Snape and she decided that Severus was right …change was inevitable


	5. Transfiguration

Transfiguration

When Ron and Harry had finally gone off to bed in Gryffindor tower Hermione went down to do a final check in the kitchens, making sure everything was in place for tomorrow evening's dinner party.

"Oh Miss Hermione, we are just finishing the puddings; lemon for Headmaster Dumbledore, Chocolate for the excellent Harry Potter, butterscotch for Professor McGonagall and of course strawberry for our Miss Hermione." Dobby was gesturing to each cake as he passed, smile growing wider as each one was given an owner.

Hermione smiled at the details on all the cakes and Christmas cookies, it was a long table filled with puddings and her eye stopped on one at the very end that Dobby had not claimed as a favorite.

"Is this anyone's Dobby?" Hermione pointed to a small, round, mocha frosted cake, encrusted with nuts on the sides.

Dobby's shoulders slumped a bit.

"I researched Miss but there are only a few of us in the kitchens who have been here that long that can remember."

"Remember what Dobby?"

"What Professor Snape would eat for pudding? It was Lenore the elder that remembered, she said it stuck in her mind because it was the first year she tried the recipe out and noticed that young master Snape was the only one who requested seconds, so she kept the recipe, knowing it was a favorite and made it the next winter again, but it was at the time the change had taken place and master Snape had given up 'sweets'."

"Hmm…" Hermione looked around in search of a house elf that could possibly match the name Lenore the elder, but the few that hadn't retired for the evening were too youthful for such a title.

"But Dobby why do you think this year will be any different, especially since Professor Snape has given up sweets for such a long while?"

"Dobby is thinking maybe Professor Snape is coming around. I really shouldn't speak this way Miss Hermione, Dobby is meddling."

"Now Dobby, I hardly think going to the trouble of finding out what someone's favorite pudding is can hardly be grounds for meddling." Hermione admonished lightly.

"Perhaps Miss, but Professor Snape sometimes takes things the wrong way." Dobby put his head down and Hermione had to nod in assent.

The next morning Hermione rose early and headed down to Snape's office with his letter for the Governor, the one she had copied last night. When she approached the door she heard muffled yelling, thinking maybe she could just slip the letter under the door and shrink away but her conscience wouldn't allow it, so she gathered her determination and knocked.

"Oh…Come in!"

Hermione opened the door and took in the view of Snape standing near a set of hanging quidditch gear, holding his wand poised at the suit of clothes as if it were a deatheater he was about to haul into Azkaban.

Hermione raised her brow, "Troubles?"

"This blasted uniform; I can't get the shirt section to transfigure properly." Snape turned, disgusted, he went back to the uniform and attempted the spell again….with no avail.

"Foolish wand waving!"

Hermione listened to his standard dig about transfiguration and surmised he was trying to change his teaching robes into a quidditch uniform. As she watched his failed attempts she thought his struggles did actually resemble foolish wand waving, it was much too dramatic…uncharacteristic for someone so adept at the 'subtle art of potion making'. She cleared her throat to hide her wry smile at this conclusion.

"Infernal!" He stopped and looked at Hermione. "Is that the letter?" He motioned his wand to point at her, not wanting to become the brunt of any frustration she sidestepped and placed the letter on the desk to her left.

"When I was coming down the hall just now I saw some of the guests crossing the lawn." Hermione tried to sound cheerful.

"Yes, very well. I'll finish up here and be down directly." He turned back to the quidditch robe and was looking intent as Hermione let herself out.

On her way to the main entrance Hermione met up with Professor McGonagall.

"Are you ready for today, my dear?" McGonagall gave her a sympathetic smile, she knew how much planning and preparation had gone into this event and couldn't help but feel it was not going to be as joyous as it should be.

Hermione smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "For today I'm ready, for next year, I'm not so sure."

Their old dynamic of student and teacher took hold of their conversation as they walked together toward the entrance.

"Now Hermione I know you'll be just fine, even though Albus and I are leaving doesn't mean we have to break all contact. If you have questions or misgivings you can always floo us, or better yet, pop in."

Hermione brightened at this idea, she hadn't really thought about what life could be like she had only dwelled on how it was going to change.

"Remember, you can go to your colleagues here as well." McGonagall took on a searching expression. "You may find that your relationships strengthen with them when we're gone."

"I'm not sure but I think it's happening already." On this note the women turned forward and within every nuance of posture, pace and gesture had sloughed off their misgivings as they were greeted by a crowd of redheads.

Ginny and the twins approached first. Fred and George said in unison "Lovely to see you, Professor McGonagall, Professor Granger." Hermione rolled her eyes good naturedly, as McGonagall smiled and left the younger set to catch up.

"Ginny you look remarkably…um…well…smooth considering the past day or…two? Hermione felt her friend out, trying to see if she was still holding a grudge against the twins for making her 'sticky' in some way.

"Yes, well I won't go into all the details but let's just say that my mother sought ample retribution for the injustice." Ginny said with a glint in her eye.

Fred and George seemed to be quiet on the topic, for once, and Hermione could only surmise what Molly had cooked up to use as punishment.

Hermione scanned the group for Mrs. Weasley and saw her using her wand very quickly and efficiently. Kinsley Shaklebolt had entered just behind the Weasley's and seemed to be the subject of some transfiguration.

"One more pass and it should look as good as knew, in size as well as style." Mrs. Weasley flicked in the direction of a hangar that Kingsley was holding, upon which hung a very small and rather tired looking Slytherin quidditch uniform.

She watched Mrs. Weasley effortlessly transform every little detail of tailoring and style of the robes.

"Perhaps you could do me the same favor…Molly." Mrs. Weasley startled and turned round to see Professor Snape. It wasn't his presence that had made her jump but it was the familiarity and tone in which he had employed. Hermione, as well as everyone else, couldn't help but stare.

Mrs. Weasley recouped and turned her attention to Severus. "Why, I'd be delighted …Severus." She smiled and assessed the quidditch robes he had on. "You've done fine with the tailoring that is really the trickiest part, it's just the wear and style needs a bit of polish, with one pass the colors of the robes intensified, the Sytherin crest gleamed. Snape looked younger and …well, Hermione had to admit, handsome, out of his high buttoned formal teaching robes, she believed that he may be able to actually pull this off. Severus looked up and saw her intense gaze and for a moment felt the weight of ages lift.

The moment slipped away as everyone turned their attention to Harry and Ron approaching.

"Dad, you look unbelievable." Hermione tore her eyes away from Severus to see Ron and Arthur embrace. She hadn't noticed Arthur before, looking…well…like Arthur Weasley, wearing someone else's quidditch robes.

Harry came forward and stood by Hermione.

"Morning 'mione, I noticed a big group out by the Quidditch field milling about, mostly Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs."

"We should head out now, they're waiting for us." Hermione got everyone's attention and announced that the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs would be playing each other first and that they should all proceed outside to the stands. The contents of the main hall drained out the front door as Hermione brought up the rear, she was checking off details on a clipboard when Severus spoke to her.

"Minerva and Albus are already out in the stands. We thought it better to save the mingling for later." Severus glanced at the lengthy checklist Hermione had prepared and saw that she had checked half the items off.

"Very good", she looked up and saw that he had turned his attention forward and was breaking pace with her. "Good luck", she blurted out. He turned and shook his head, as if to say, he had no idea what had possessed him to volunteer. Hermione couldn't help but smile at his cynicism

They walked in this manner towards the Quidditch pitch, he striding four or five paces ahead and she behind. When they had just rounded the tower a few of the boys from Slytherin house came barreling past her, they were running in a pack, looking very excited, and she was glad to see Terry was in the middle. They slowed when they had caught up to Professor Snape and Hermione was close enough to hear Terry say, "Good Luck today Professor Snape." Hermione watched intently to see his reaction and was surprised when the boys didn't receive the same reply.

"I shall do my best." He bowed his head formally and the boys burst with pleasure and raised their hands for Slytherin. They bounded on ahead and when they were gone Hermione saw Severus shake his head, as he had to her, just a few moments prior.


	6. Matched emotions

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the world of Harry Potter. I don't intend to make any profits from this story it is just for fun.

Thanks for reviewing. I appreciate the praise as well as the helpful suggestions. It definitely keeps me going.

Matched Emotions

A light snow had started while the spectators were situating themselves in the stands.

Hermione made her way up to the Teacher's box, and then made her way down the steps to the first row, before sitting she raised her hand to Madame Hooch that all was ready to begin. The rules had been modified for the sake of time, allowing all houses a fair shot at winning the tournament.

The first few matches were lighthearted, bringing back different memories for different people, but quickly the sense of present time took over and with the last two matches before the midday lunch break rivalries were becoming intense. Gryffindor had to beat Ravenclaw and Slytherin was matched against Hufflepuff. The winners of those would play each other for the trophy.

The players had gone to their locker rooms, no doubt to discuss strategy and weakness. Hermione stood off to the side of the tables that had appeared in the middle of the quidditch pitch, piled with luncheon specialties and drinks. Arthur and Molly had cast a protection charm above the tables providing a warm invisible tent. While the alumni mingled Hermione kept keen attention on Albus, trying to assess how he was faring, he seemed to be conversing animatedly and for the moment, was perfectly fine. Severus had appeared next to her and was watching as well.

"He is charming today." Severus' gaze was ahead.

Hermione gave him a side glance and wondered whether she should tell him how well she thought he had played against Ravenclaw, their alumni team was much younger and swifter than the Slytherins but Snape had only let in one quaffle the entire match. All those years of keeping an eye on Harry as seeker had prevented her from understanding just how intense the role of keeper was, even when Ron had done his stint in the position, she had closed her eyes, silently praying that Slytherin would stop chanting "Weasley is our King". Today was different, for these matches she felt confident watching Severus keep; it seemed to come natural to him, standing guard, ensuring that no enemy would cross the line, hypersensitive to every maneuver that was playing itself out in the field. He had never really gotten out of practice; he'd been keeping Hogwarts and its students safe for almost twenty years.

Unable to give, what she was sure was unwanted, praise she instead turned to Severus to ask him a question about Albus.

"Do you think he realizes?"

Severus thought for a minute, still watching Albus who was listening to Arthur Weasley tell a story.

"Overall, yes, but each instance, no. He seems to confuse time mostly, thinking that I'm much younger or he replays a conversation that we had 10 years ago, and then when he realizes he looks a bit shaken. Minerva is good; she will divert or just laugh it off. I'm not as adept at glossing over."

The depth of his reply caught Hermione off guard; it was hard to act natural with Snape when he was so honest. She decided to be reckless and go a little further;

"I'm relieved that she is going to be with him. I would hate to think of him alone in the world and away from Hogwarts."

"Yes, he deserves better." Snape's voice went weak and he abruptly turned as if to find something.

Hermione was struck with a pang of regret over what she had said, and hoped that Severus was not thinking of his own future.

He turned round, and with determination said, " Here are the players…" the teams were emerging from their respective locker rooms and the spectators were making their way back to the stands, "…let us see if we can't make this a Slytherin victory…for a change."

The snow was falling faster and made the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw game intense, but Harry, unbelievably, had caught the snitch in a daring race with the opponent seeker. It was then the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs turn, visibility was worsening and Hermione reverted to her old habit of chewing on her bottom lip. Hufflepuff lost quickly but not before making a few desperate shots, causing Snape to spring from one golden hoop to another in a brilliant show of gymnastics. The Slytherin box erupted with victory shouts, not only for winning against Hufflepuff but also because it was down to Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. Hermione could see that Snape was getting weary, he was pinching the bridge of his nose, she knew this mannerism from her student days, back then she always thought it a sign of irritation, but she had come to know him better and that it was rather a stance for gathering strength.

Gryffindor came out on the pitch, having had time for a short break. Fred and George looked eager to begin the match, but as Harry flew past the teacher's box and waved to Hermione she thought he was showing signs of fatigue as well. The Ravenclaw seeker was an alumnus but he was also Harry's junior by 2 years and Harry had done some fast maneuvering to stay ahead of the game.

The quaffle was released and a knot of tension pulled taut in Hermione's stomach, of course she wanted 'the boys' to win but a little murmur in her heart was pulsing for a Slytherin victory.

Immediately Slytherin scored a goal. Kingsley Shaklebolt, although older than most of the Gryffindor alumni cut quite an intimidating figure in the air, he had an edge that made the other team pause for just the fraction of a second that he needed to blow the quaffle past them. It took all of Hermione's energy to play the Gryffindor role and sound crushed by the score. She was seated next to Albus and noticed that he was intently staring at Severus, she was sure they were both secretly hoping for the same outcome.

The match continued to stay very close, but all were becoming ragged and Hermione worried that in their state someone might lose their balance.

"I've expected too much. They look so tired. I never should have made it tournament style." She spoke to no one in particular but Albus turned immediately,

"My dear, they are having the time of their lives, you have set this up exactly how everyone wanted it, some might say no, but they would be lying." Hermione smiled at his frankness and placed her hand on his shoulder.

The teams were well matched and goals were made on both sides. Arthur Weasley was approaching the Slytherin goal flanked by Fred and George. He positioned himself to make a shot, if he scored, it would be a Gryffindor victory, unless Slytherin caught the snitch in the next 15 seconds.

All eyes were glued on Snape, he was staring Arthur down, poised to lunge in any direction to guard his territory and then three things happened in quick succession; a bludger from Slytherin was sailing toward Arthur's head from the left, George saw it in the knick of time but had to swing up at an odd angle over his head, as he was making contact with the bludger, then the whistle blew, sounding that someone had caught the snitch. All eyes broke from the whoops up to see which team had a victory, it was Slytherin. Silas Bench, their seeker, up against Harry, had bested him. The Slytherin box was going wild and only a few had seen when George had connected with the bludger, he had saved his Dad from a nasty bump but had sent it hurdling at Severus, it clipped him on the side of the knee and he was toppling off his broom. Harry, who had been stopped in flight by the sound of the whistle was hovering near the Slytherin goal and sent himself into what looked like a free fall on his broom. Hermione went for her wand, but Harry was brilliant, he thrust up under Severus not more than 20 feet from the ground and righted him on his broom. He cast a quick cushioning charm for them both and they landed softly, but Harry had to grab Snape and support his weight, for as soon as they landed his leg had buckled beneath him.

Hermione was out off her seat and halfway to the pitch with the rest of the teachers behind her, she saw that Arthur Weasley, who had been the closest when Snape had started to spiral, had flown down and was shouldering his other side.

The snowfall had picked up and large flakes were quickly piling on everything and everyone. Hermione made her way across the pitch, stopping with her fellow teachers where Harry, Severus and Arthur were standing. Everyone grouped around the trio, their expressions were transmuting from concern, to justified pride, to disbelief. Hermione was about to express regret over the length of the tournament when that same group of Slytherin boys she had seen earlier in the day ran up to the circle that had formed around Snape and Harry.

"Professor Snape, you were brilliant, we never would have won without you as keeper. I don't care if Bench did catch the snitch we never would have made the finals if it hadn't of been for you."

Terry was defiant in his compliments and Severus could do nothing else but release an imprisoned smile. The boys shouted for Slytherin, as they had done earlier but this seemed to bring Snape back from, what he thought, was a momentary weakness.

"The snow is coming down hard and everyone has been neglectful in their dress, inside with you now. I can still deduct points on Holiday." Snape had gathered the strength to assume his usual disdain but when juxtaposed to his prior 'weakness' and while leaning on the good sentiments of Harry and Arthur he was betrayed as only an actor.

The boys let out a joyful "Yes, sir…", and trotted away, jumping and whooping.

Watching them depart he slumped his shoulders in defeat.

Dumbledore stepped into the middle of their circle, "…the weather is turning and we need to get Severus back to the castle…." He placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. "We will apparate."

Ron spoke up, incredulous, "but everyone knows you can't apparate on Hogwarts grounds, the wards and all…"

Dumbledore's eyes shone bright and he turned to Ron, "yes…I have heard that…now who made that rule?"

Hermione and Severus glanced at each other, hoping this wasn't an episode.

Dumbledore quickly went from a forgetful expression to one of complete command, "…oh yes, that was me…" He laughed at his own humor, quickly told them all to join hands and with a swish of his arm upwards, an intense glow of energy, outlining the shape of each snowflake falling, burst from his form, and then the same arm descended, slicing the air. He quickly grabbed Molly's hand, the closest one to him and in the next moment they were all inside Hogwarts entrance hall.

When they realized what he had done everyone clapped in admiration and many 'well done's' were shouted in unison.

He nodded to their approval, wobbled slightly and caught Minerva's arm up, to most it looked like he was gesturing to escort her to the Great Hall, but she eyed him with concern, feeling the subtle difference between want and need.

His eyes glazed slightly as he looked over at Harry and Arthur who were still supporting a weary looking Snape.

"You see Severus I knew you and James would become friends in the end."

Hermione blanched, unable to look at Severus, but instead Harry caught her eye and questioned her with a confused glance.

She was just about to divert when Molly interposed, "Harry my dear you must be sick to death of us all comparing you with your father, if we are not telling you how much you look like him we are actually calling you by his name."

Harry, alerted by the false tone in Mrs. Weasley's voice proceeded in kind, and in a comical self deprecating way admitted, "…I have been called much worse…" motioning his eyes towards the figure he was now supporting.

Everyone laughed and Ron obliged by diverting further with his complaints, "Just don't call him late for dinner."

Hermione quickly showed the way to the dining hall and everyone followed, performing warming and drying spells on themselves.

Severus shook off Harry and Arthur. Hermione stood at the entrance of the door as all the guests filed inside. When she turned round she caught her former professor grimace in pain as he was trying to make his way to the doors as well.

"Professor, you are not up to this, please let me get help, you need to go to the infirmary." Severus stopped walking and shrugged, could he not fool anyone today?…and then he laughed slightly…and thought…anyone perhaps, but not Miss Granger.

"Miss Granger, I fear that Albus exhausted himself back there and I intend to make sure he doesn't make a fool of himself. It's obvious that Potter picked up on his blunder and I'm sure he'll be making all kinds of impudent inquiries after his health." He said the word health as if it had the furthest meaning conceivable to the word.

Hermione tensed around the jaw and flexed her hand by her side, "You don't know what Harry's like at all. You have unfairly judged him from his very first day of Hogwarts and are still misreading him now that he is an adult."

"Is that right Miss Granger, well…I don't see it that way." Severus shifted his weight and pursed his lips to hide the pain that shot through his leg.

Hermione was close to tears and she silently scolded herself for speaking to him in such a way when he was obviously feeling so wretched. Severus looked up and saw her glistening eyes; the shimmering water was dropping onto her cheeks every few seconds… She is upset with me for disliking Potter?…no, she might be upset because I am injured?…a mixture of both?…but why would she be upset because I dislike Potter?…I have always disliked him, everyone accepts this, even Potter… The sight of her tears made him more uncomfortable then the growing pain in his knee and to calm her he conceded.

"Very well Miss Granger. I will acquiesce to your help… just this once…but if you choose Potter to assist me I will make your remaining life at Hogwarts a living nightmare."

Hermione dabbed at her cheeks with the back of her hand and in her frustration she let slip the true motivation for her tears.

"How could you?... you'll be gone." Her voice was hard and foreign to him.

Severus' eyes grew wide at the admission and couldn't help compare Terry's defiant tone over how well he had played with Miss Granger's unexpected grief that he was leaving, the two circumstances could not be more opposite, one praise and the other admonishment but the sentiments grew from the same root, and he was hard pressed to believe that he had been the seed of so much emotion.

Hermione, still angry and tearful, shook her head and quickly headed for the Great Hall, she returned in half a minute with Kingsley and Remus. Lupin performed a light levitation spell, Snape rose two inches off the ground, making it easier to guide and support his lanky frame.


	7. Chapter 7

Stronger Lessons

The Great hall was full and Hermione scanned the room to make sure that everyone was settling in, she picked nervously at her thumb with her index finger; she was worried about Albus, glancing over she saw that he was speaking quietly with Minerva as all the alumni found their tables. Her mind was distracted with the argument she had just had with Severus, why could he not see Harry for who he really was? The injustice made her so angry, but it was more than just the injustice…it was who it was coming from, some part of her wanted Harry and Severus to get along, fruitless as it might seem, since he was leaving eventually anyway.

Hermione rose to advance towards the podium, she wanted to welcome everyone to the party and instruct them to have a good time, but before she was walking Albus stood and motioned for her to remain.

"In a moment child…I'd like to speak with my friends first." He made his way slowly towards the podium.

Minerva and Hermione caught each other's look and Minerva nodded her head in reassurance.

He began and his voice sounded more powerful than it had since the end of the war.

"My friends…" Everyone looked up and the hall hushed down, there was palpable emotion in the air. Hermione spotted the Weasley's table and saw Harry looking pale.

"…you have brought me back today to simpler times, I have visited with my fond memories of all of you. I have lived a very long life and because of this, when I review it, it is usually in two parts. The first part, my childhood; carefree, experimental, loving, it includes the beginning of my career as a Charms professor and of course my beautiful wife Olivia, who some of you know was taken from us much too early." Hermione looked over to McGonagall, one of the few at Hogwarts that knew Professor Dumbledore's wife, who, rumor had told, died in childbirth, she was dabbing at her eyes with the edge of her handkerchief.

"The second part includes all of my friends here today. Some of us have lived together, worked together and sadly, have mourned together, but whatever the connection we are all bonded by a brotherhood of love and that love has protected Hogwarts for these long years. Olivia and I were never fortunate enough to have our own children but I feel that I have had many,… right here…" Hermione was softly crying and she saw that Harry had removed his glasses and was rubbing at his eyes.

"But alas, this is beginning to sound like a speech and I always found it rude to keep people from their dinner, so let me finish my thoughts. A change is taking place, as some of you know already and I will be retiring at the end of the term, as will Professor McGonagall, we have secured a cottage a few miles from the grounds and intend to live a more leisurely life as our old age approaches." Dumbledore turned and nodded toward Minerva. "No offense Minerva, I should have said as 'my' old age approaches." There was quiet laughter and smiles through tears.

"Professor Snape has generously agreed to fill in as head for the time being, and as we saw today he lacks no prowess in keeping things quite safe.

We must all give Severus our utmost trust and confidence I think he will do great things here at Hogwarts." This statement was met with dead silence and heads turned toward each other to judge the reaction of its neighbor, nothing was said but all had the expression as if to say, 'Severus?' with a strong question mark.

"I see that some of you don't share my enthusiasm for this scheme, as I had anticipated…" Dumbledore reached to an inner pocket of his robes and produced a tattered paperback book, Hermione was struck by the muggleness of it, she looked over to Harry and she could tell he was eyeing it with the same understanding.

"I do not understand Americans very well but one in particular seemed to have a good grasp on the nature of things. Perhaps we should think of this when we move to judge too quickly;"

He opened to a page near the end of the book;

"Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you, and

were tender with you, and stood aside for you?

Have you not learned great lessons from those who reject you,

and brace themselves against you? Or who treat you with

contempt, or dispute the passage with you?"1

He closed the book and wavered slightly, "And now I don't think that anyone will dispute me if I say, let's eat!"

Hermione watched as Albus moved towards Minerva and eased into his seat, Minerva turned and smiled at him with an expression of knowledge that only time and shared experiences can produce. A longing to check on Professor Snape pulled at Hermione, she made her way to the side teachers entrance but before she could slip out she heard Albus say, "Tell Severus that we missed him at dinner and that he has much to do, so he needs to mend quickly."

She started out at a slow pace, not really knowing what she would say to her old professor, but soon found herself at a light jog by the time she had reached the hospital wing, her heart was pounding as she opened the door.

He was lying, with his head back on a pillow, his leg immobilized at the knee; all was quiet except for a light rustle of papers coming from Pomfrey's office. Hermione moved closer believing him to be asleep, feeling the effects of a pain potion no doubt.

She watched his chest rise and fall, and slowly her own vitals ebbed back to a more normal rhythm.

"I suppose everyone ate not wisely but to well." His lip curled, revealing that he was laughing to himself.

Hermione startled that he was conscious and froze on the spot.

He turned his head then, his expression changed to concern. "Everything is alright, Miss Granger?...is it not?"

She let out a breath that had got caught when he first spoke, and then she began to allay his fears over Albus.

All is fine, sir. Professor Dumbledore gave a very nice parting speech and everyone is just now, "eating to well" as you say.

He closed his eyes again, relieved but not showing it to Hermione.

"There were no inappropriate questions asked, I think everyone understands the situation. We all love him…you know." Hermione couldn't help defending Harry, eventhough she didn't wish to repeat the argument from before.

"Hmm…"

His reply sounded drugged and far away, she moved a little closer to see if he was indeed alright, with eyes still closed and head up to face the ceiling he spoke again;

"I have had time to review the events of the day and believe that I have found a suitable Transfiguration professor, if she will accept the job."

Hermione was dumbstruck by the complete change in topic and couldn't imagine who he might have in mind, perhaps the potion Pomfrey had given him was a double dose.

She decided to play along, relieved that their earlier argument had not dissuaded him in confiding in her. "I can't think who, sir?"

"Molly Weasley, of course. Did you not see how adept she is, not to mention that she could easily takeover Gryffindor house, she's been running her own for more than twenty years." He gently snorted at this piece of truth and opened his eyes to catch Hermione's reaction.

He watched as that logical brain spun through the pros and cons, the what if's and the how to's, he had become very dependent on that brain over the last few months, helping him with details of the school.

"But sir, she has no credentials?...I don't think?"

"Ah…Miss Granger I'm surprised at you for not knowing this bit of Hogwarts History. You have a very close runner up for the most outstanding grades ever received at Hogwarts by a woman…it was Molly. She also, I believe went on to University, but didn't finish…that small problem could be ironed out. As far as her family, if I'm not mistaken Ginevra is the youngest and seems quite self sufficient."

Tears had formed in the corners of Hermione's eyes, brought on by the prospect of Mrs. Weasley being at Hogwarts, she wouldn't be so alone. Without thinking she reached out and covered his hand with hers.

Severus was gratified by her heartfelt approval, and without thinking he withdrew the covered hand and laid it atop of hers, looking on and gently patting her wrist. He knew the scheme to secure Molly served a personal as well as practical reason, but he had to know that Hermione would be cared for when he left, not that he believed her incapable but to him she was still girlish and vulnerable in many ways and with Molly here he knew she would have a proper confidant.

They withdrew to their more normal postures just as Pomfrey bustled out, she was holding a food tray and in the front stood a blue potion bottle.

"Now Severus I will not bridge any refusal when it comes to your potion and some dinner, you know better than anyone that injuries do not mend without rest." Pomfrey was ready for a fight and was totally deflated when Severus snatched the potion from the tray and threw it back like a shot of Old Ogden's Fire whiskey.

Hermione let out a giggle at Pomfrey's expression and as Severus exchanged the potion for a piece of Dobby's cake he smiled, revealing a handsome younger face to them both.

"Poppie, the strongest lessons I've learned in life was when I didn't follow your advice."

Severus caught Hermione in his eyes and they couldn't help laughing at the bewildered look of disappointment on Poppy's face.


	8. Little gifts

Authors note; Hi folks, I neglected last chapter to give good old Walt Whitman his due, a portion of Dumbledore's parting speech was extracted from "Leaves of Grass". Thanks for the reviews, it gets lonely out here sometimes and the feedback really keeps me going.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, J.K Rowling and various publishing companies do. I don't plan on making any money off this story it's just for fun.

Little gifts

When Hermione came back to the great hall everyone had finished their meal and was mingling with after dinner drinks. She spied Harry, looking glum, in the middle of a crowd of Gryffindor alumni animatedly going over every detail of the match. His head lifted when he saw her and he made his way over, the group he'd been standing with crowded in closer, taking up his vacant spot and not missing a beat in their analysis.

Hermione tried to hold back tears that were rising, more for Harry's feelings than Dumbledore's decline.

"Alright 'mione I have to know what's up?" His eyebrows rose into his hairline and Hermione was transported back to first year, looking into those green eyes that at once held so much hope and just as much anguish.

She began honestly and clinically but halfway through the first sentence the direct approach disintegrated, "He's been tested and many potions have been experimented with…it's a matter of time, he's losing touch, living in memory sometimes, bouts of weakness and exhaustion." She finished and touched his arm she could feel the old anger and tenseness through his skin, he wasn't going to accept this easily or possibly without a fight.

"But surely with everything we have at our disposal, there must be something…something new…muggle…anything?" He looked into her eyes, searching for an answer, trying to will one more miracle.

"Harry, I've discussed it with professor Snape, he's tried everything, read everything, and written to everyone but their just isn't a stopper for old age."

"I need some air…" he pulled away fiercely, but she knew he wasn't angry with her, he'd come back, he was stronger now and with confidence she believed that he could manage even this blow.

As she watched him pull away Flitwick announced the lighting of the Christmas trees. Everyone held their glasses up to thank him for the wonderful job he had done on the decorations. Hermione looked up and saw her tiny professor lighting each one gracefully with a flick of his wand until all 12, located around the room, were glowing in golden light. She realized that Minerva and Albus had left, no doubt exhausted from the days events.

The hospital wing was shrouded in silence. Albus shuffled along to the swinging doors, determined to see this last chore through to the end. He nodded to himself, it wouldn't be long now, but if he could just convince the boy, he could rest easy.

Severus was reading but he had to keep going back to the page he had just finished, for his mind kept wandering to the interplay he had had with Hermione. He was positive that she approved of his choice for transfiguration professor. The only problem was to convince Molly, she had after all a very close family and no doubt they would have grievances over her absence, Arthur seemed an easygoing type, so hopefully he would not cause too much of a fuss. His thoughts were interrupted by Albus;

"I think Molly is an excellent idea, very creative." Snape pursed his lips and stared levelly at Dumbledore to send him the message that he didn't appreciate having his thoughts stolen when he was lying in a hospital bed.

"I have to use these small advantages now…do I not?" Albus came round and pulled the visitor's chair up alongside the bed. Severus stared without expression, it was the first time Albus had alluded to his own condition and he was at a loss about how to respond. He occluded his mind, guarding against any seepage of his disappointment over the situation.

"My boy you are so much more than you allow yourself to acknowledge, can't you see your own achievements? Temper your view no more with past mistakes, you have rectified them times two.

Snape hung his head, his long black hair wilting in front of his face like thirsty plant stems. Dumbledore smiled at this boyish mannerism that age had failed to erase.

"Do not let people's expectations of you become your destiny, you almost made that mistake once, learn from your experience. You could have it all here, dear boy, everything that you've been looking at through your window."

"Everything?…there is nothing anymore, only time and after you are settled and the staff is in place I want to leave and pass my time somewhere else…away from the weight of it all." His eyes searched Albus', desperately trying to make him understand that he couldn't face it anymore, the shame, the guilt, the loneliness…or the demands.

"You are not seeing things as they are my boy, you are…as ironic as this may sound…you are living in the past." Snape's head shot up, parting the greasy strands from his brow, he was frustrated with the interference, and especially now that he felt tonight he had made a first step toward stabilizing the staff, if Molly agreed, by next summer all would be in place for him to leave. He spoke without checking his tension;

"No Albus, I'm just not seeing them your way. This is who I am, I can't be more. I'm small, petty, disagreeable…yes I know all these traits are true and the position of headmaster requires robes that I just don't' have the material for."

Albus looked away, feeling weary, he smiled halfheartedly, "Perhaps you are right Severus, getting away from here will probably do you good. You could find a position in a Potions laboratory and work on some of your old pet projects, remember, before the war. Funny thing, Hermione was speaking with me the other day and it seems she has a very interesting theory on the possibility of concentrating the Wolfsbane into a storable pill form, probably just her youthful enthusiasm… or her muggle notions. Well, I suppose we should just let her get it out of her system…." Albus shook his head in mirth, "…so polite one moment and so headstrong the next…she is a mystery."

Severus had his head back and stared at the ceiling, "I know what your doing and it's not going to make a difference."

"Doing… I am doing nothing, you have made it clear of your intentions and I agree…wholeheartedly."

"Hmm..." Snape's eyes were closed and Albus rose to bid him goodnight.

"You played magnificently today Severus, but I must say that I haven't seen anyone do a dive on a broomstick so wantonly since I saw Harry race to your aid today." Albus peered over his glasses in Snape's direction.

"Yes he's quite the performer." Snape opened his eyes and caught Albus peering over, they had a small battle of wills with their eyes and when Albus broke the contest and bid Severus 'good night' Snape assumed he had won.

Hermione had stepped out of the great hall to take a breath of air; she was making her way to the entrance doors, intent on taking a peek outside, in hopes that Harry would be returning from his walk when she heard a squeaking sound coming around the corner.

"Dobby, what have you got there?"

The dutiful house-elf was pushing a cart, possibly nicked from the hospital wing, loaded down with little boxes, done up in holiday paper.

"Presents from Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, Miss."

Hermione stared, wondering when these little boxes had been wrapped and what they might contain.

"But Dobby…when…how?" She couldn't believe it had all been accomplished under her nose.

"I've been working for weeks with Professor Dumbledore…" Dobby puffed out his chest revealing that he thought this a very prestigious task.

"What are they?" Hermione's curiosity was getting the better of her and she couldn't imagine what he could be giving out to everyone that was all the same size.

The house-elf turned the cart toward the Great Hall and beckoned Hermione to follow him.

"Come inside; I am to hand them out now, while the guests are making ready to depart."

Hermione sensed that Dobby had rehearsed these instructions many times because there was a mechanical quality to his delivery.

Upon entering the Great Hall he stationed himself just to the left of the inside door, prepared to hand out these parting gifts wedding procession style, but he paused and bent down, rifled through the packages and snatched one up.

"Yours Miss, the second one we did, a very good one, if you don't mind me saying." Dobby handed the small square box, wrapped in purple and gold paper, tied with a shiny black bow to Hermione, gazing at her expectantly.

She looked around, the necessity for privacy pervaded her but the elf looked up at her so patiently that she felt compelled to open the present on the spot. A small card hung from the ribbon on the side and it simply said; Dearest Hermione, Best Wishes, Minerva and Albus.

She opened it quickly, but found she had no better clue as to what the present was then when it still had its wrapping. There was a clear glass ball inside with swirling blue liquid filling half the sphere, a tiny pinprick whole was at the top. She thought for a moment it was a remeberall but dismissed the idea, having never seen one come in such a small size.

"What is it Dobby?"

"One memory…one perfect memory that Professor Dumbledore has of you." Dobby smiled as though confident that it was the most perfect gift he had ever seen.

Hermione was puzzled and for lack of a better idea shook the ball lightly.

"That's it Miss, shake it lightly and place the top, where the opening is, near your right temple."

Hermione did as instructed and a scene from the not to distant past illuminated her mind. She was standing in the potions laboratory, her hair was pinned back because she was stirring a brew very carefully. Professor Dumbledore was there as well as Professor Snape. It was strange because in this memory she could see their expressions well but thinking back she had been so intent on the potion she hadn't looked up when they came in.

Severus had placed his hand on his hip, assuming an exasperated stance, she remembered now it was the week before her first term as potions instructor.

"Miss Granger I have been in to see Poppy concerning the stores for the coming school year and she is very disappointed that you have not been keeping up with the pepper-up supply or the fever potion. I believe that you were instructed, by me, that this would be an integral part of your position."

Dumbledore remained silent and looked to Hermione for a reaction.

In the memory she was counting the complete revolutions her stirring stick made inside the cauldron, but between 43 and 44 she managed to say very quickly, "Open the cupboard."

Severus swept over to the cupboard and threw open the doors, unconvinced that this would answer his question.

There were rows and stacks of purple potion vials neatly labeled pepper-up. He was agitated by being proven wrong.

"But you are still missing the fever reducing potion, clearly the more important of the two." He said triumphantly.

"99, 100, she finished stirring and lowered the flame on the cauldron, a tea towel she had next to her, doubled as a cloth and she wiped her brow and dabbed at her flushed cheeks, throwing the towel over her shoulder, in muggle fashion and coming round the workstation to stand before Severus she looked up defiantly but spoke politely,

"If you had taken note I just finished a large batch of the fever reducer…to add to three previous batches I have in my office. I didn't bring them to the infirmary yet for fear that they might be in the way; I know that Madame Pomfrey likes to scour out her cupboards around this time each year." She finished with a smile and knelt back on the edge of the table, tired from her tasks. Albus had been out of her view when the scene actually took place but now she could see that the two men had exchanged looks over her head and Dumbledore had winked at Snape.

"Well done Hermione, you are as usual two steps ahead, is she not Severus?"

"Yes, well, at least we won't be caught short when the winter sets in… well done…I suppose."

Albus snorted at the halfhearted compliment and Hermione sensed in the memory that he wanted to scold Severus but let it go instead, feeling that the comment, for him, was actually a compliment.

Hermione's insides grew warm with contentment, for the little gift not only played out the memory for her but it made her feel the swell of pride Dumbledore was experiencing towards her for being both so competent and standing up to Severus; making her point but remaining calm and respectful. The day had been tumultuous and for the first time her shoulders relaxed, feeling calm, knowing that one of the greatest wizards in the world had the utmost confidence in her ability.

"I believe this is the best gift I've ever received."

Dobby nodded knowingly, as if he hadn't needed anyone's opinion to convince him.

"Would Miss like to assist me in passing out the little gifts?"

Hermione's expression changed to worried as she looked at the burgeoning cart, all the boxes presumably containing a perfect memory for everyone at the party.

"Dobby, if I have this memory of Professor Dumbledore's here…" she held up the small clear ball and looked at itincredulously... "…does that mean that the Professor is without it?" She sounded slightly panicked.

"No Miss, but that's what took us so long to ready them, of course Professor Dumbledore didn't want to give these memories up, like a pensieve, so he created a charm to copy them, complete with emotions." Dobby was proud, proud of the ingenuity of Dumbledore but also lightheaded with the new feeling of caring so much for someone simply because he wanted to, not because he was magically bound to serve him and he knew the girl in front of him had been a large part of this new found freedom.

Hermione's fear was allayed and she took a place next to Dobby, prepared to help him give out the Christmas treasures.

Halfway through the load of presents Harry came back from his walk; he hadn't been able to rid himself of his anxious energy but was distracted by his friends holding what looked like tiny rememberalls.

"What's this?" He approached Ron and a group of his old Gryffindor mates.

"It's a gift from Dumbledore…a memory of his…I think."

"Harry…" Hermione was on his left, holding out his small gift, her hand outstretched, hoping that the contents would have a soothing effect.

Harry took the gift and unwrapped it, scooping up the ball quickly and placing it to his temple as he had seen others around him do.

It was night and he was on the quidditch pitch, it was deserted except for he and Neville, they were so young Harry had to smile, he had forgotten how chubby Neville was their first year, but hang on…where was Dumbledore… he didn't remember him being there… but then he saw him, off to the right just under the Ravenclaw bleachers the heavy curtains that hung down were parted and both Dumbledore and Snape were watching the boys intently.

It was weird how he could see it all through Dumbledore's eyes and lay his own faint memory of the scene on top.

Neville's wrist was wrapped; he had broken it when the charmed broomstick had dumped him off during their first flying lesson. Harry had promised him that he would catch him up, so he wouldn't fall too far behind.

"… And then you mount it once you've got a firm grasp." Harry looked hopefully over to Neville but Neville shook his head.

"It's easy…and fun…come on Neville you can do it." Neville's eyes widened either for fear of flying or out of shock that anyone in their right mind could think this pursuit should be associated in any way with the word 'fun'.

"How about if I get on with you?" Harry laughed outside the memory, watching these two small boys in pajamas, out past curfew, mounting a broom together and then barely being able to touch the ground with their toes.

They went off like a shot and Neville grabbed Harry for dear life. Albus laughed in delight and turned to Severus,

"You see, I told you he was a good boy."

Snape and Albus remained in the shadows, watching the boys negotiate the starry sky together.

When Harry had taken the ball away from his temple and the present time had filled his vision much of the party had departed. Hermione was helping Flitwick extinguish the last of the candles that were floating about the room but halted when he had come over.

"So, let me guess, the Triwizard Tournament, the second year quidditch finals, graduation?"

Harry smiled, feeling much better he laughed, "It was none of that…it was a little thing…I'd almost forgotten."

"You know, mine was the same way, but the fact that he saw the importance of it filled me up so much. I guess life is not always about the sweeping gestures or the momentous decisions… it's a lot about the little things."


	9. Chapter 9

Victories

All the guests had departed from the castle, invitations had been secured for New Year's celebrations and everyone had been delighted with their gifts. Hermione traced the outline of a picture frame that held a most treasured image, her parents were waving to her from behind the reception desk at their dental practice, they looked so clean and happy, they represented a part of her that was untainted by Voldemort or dark wizards, they knew of them of course but that was different, as different as night and day.

She leaned back into her desk chair and let her mind wander to the gift Albus had given her, of course she loved and cherished the sentiment and emotion it conveyed about her abilities but here in the quiet of her office, away from the Christmas trees and the trappings of the occasion her mind turned to its forte'; Why? Why had Albus come up with these memories as gifts, even in his somewhat weakened state she believed that his most benign gestures held deep meaning?

In her memory there was a swell of pride from Albus when she had handled Severus so deftly but another more subtle feeling had laced the edges, it was a feeling of curiosity. Albus had been curious or rather fascinated by there interaction, he had wanted to see how their confrontation would transpire as if he were watching a play. Hermione laughed, it wasn't often when Albus didn't know the outcome of an event and so she surmised he probably enjoyed the occasional innocent and unpredictable situation. She was mulling over the memory like a glass of good red wine, nuances and details were becoming clearer as she swished it back and forth, letting her own impressions of the incident mingle with that of her former headmaster. Layer upon layer of consciousness surrounding the memory bore out a truth Hermione had only that afternoon had come to admit; she did indeed have feelings for Snape. When this attraction had started she couldn't identify but she knew it, she could feel the tension between them, through Albus, in the memory, all unspoken, almost pointedly denied in body language, but the air was so thick with…with what? What do wizards call this, not chemistry, she mused, they don't recognize it…

She sat up in her chair, eyes looking toward the door as if she had just figured out why she had ever come to Hogwarts in the first place.

… oh…it must be magic.

Poppy had released Severus out of the hospital wing that night instead of the next morning, his good behavior concerning medicine and rest had softened her to his request to leave early. Snape knew there was no other way to get around her this time and so he decided to completely confuse her by acting the model patient. His plan worked brilliantly, not to mention that his knee was feeling worlds better, the only sticking point to his midnight getaway was a length of sturdy oak with a curved handle.

"I most certainly do not need that!" He pointed at the cane Poppy had produced from her office as if he were about to create a box of oak toothpicks.

"But Severus, it is only for a few days, you must take the pressure off that leg while the ligaments knit back together."

"I have drunk your pain potions, I have allowed the prodding, I have endured the concerned visitors but here is where I must draw my line. I have been guest here for much worse reason than this and have reported to class the next day without the need for any such assistance."

Pomfrey paused, and with an uncharacteristic tenderness she said,

"…but Severus you were younger then, it takes longer to heal now, physically…I mean."

She held the cane out to him and he snatched it from her on his way toward the exit, he stopped abruptly, hand pushing one side of the double swing doors,

"Thank you…"

"Of course, Severus." Her usual reply hung for a moment between them, long enough to reassure him that any minor damage he may have done to their longstanding friendship was once again healed by the time of his departure.

His usual stride was off because of the cane and as a result the castle didn't feel like his own, the quick clip through cloaked darkness, the pace he kept in the chilled hallways would normally set a breeze to his cheek and help him maintain alertness, essential for one who slept so little but tonight he felt a stranger in his own house, and in his own body.

Once inside his office he stashed the cane behind his desk and eased himself into his chair, a security spell engaged the lid of the roll top desk to rise and he began to rifle through the mountain of correspondence he now was responsible for as acting Head.

A letter from the ministry caught his attention and he slit the seal with his wand.

Dear Severus Snape,

Acting Headmaster of Hogwarts

It has been decided after careful deliberation that the holdings and properties of all the convicted deatheaters, now residing in Azkaban prison, will be transferred to a special account at Gringott's bank, to be used as a fund for the survivors.

We wish you to inform any current students at Hogwarts that are the children of the incarcerated, listed below, that they must expect their accounts to be seized if they have not been already.

Please assist them to contact any other family they might have and if none can be found then they must be conveyed to the proper institutions.

Severus balled the paper in his hand and muttered, "proper institutions… indeed."

There were five total that he and Minerva had been helping financially, completely unbeknownst to them; the other two had received scholarships for various talents that had become recently discovered. The Ministry had not even realized who these students were when the usual grants were played out, but Severus had a feeling that soon McGonagall's scheme would be discovered now that the Ministry had made this official. The thought of supplementing two additional students would be a drain on his savings but above that his departure as Headmaster would jettison this group into a cruel and meager future, a recipe, without a doubt, for disaster.

He was tired and couldn't get his mind around all these implications in one night, dutifully he retrieved the cane and rose to walk to his inner chamber, sleep would clear the mind.

On the way he passed the fireplace, unused it sat dark and cold but on the mantle a small package wrapped in an odd purple paper and tied with a black ribbon was perched close to the edge. He retrieved his wand from inside his cloak and tested it for dark magic or tricks of any kind, after all, those blasted Weasley's were all about during the past two days.

When nothing registered he took it off the shelf and headed toward his bedroom. He sloughed off his outer robe and vest and put his boots to the side, sitting down on the bed he took up the box. A small note hung from the side and feeling confident that no mischief would come of it he opened the card.

Dear Severus,

Please accept this small token, I know that you do not celebrate the season so please think of it as a parting gift to show our gratitude for all your years of service.

Your friends,

Albus and Minerva

"What now?" Snape shook his head, knowing full well Albus was up to something.

He purposefully placed the package on the nightstand determined not to open it, slid under the covers and nestled back into bed.

"Nox", he said quietly extinguishing the side lamps on the wall.

Several minutes of darkness went by until;

"Damn, him"

"Lumos" He ground out. He sat up and took up the package.

"No dark magic here? I doubt that very much." He spoke at the package as he untied the black ribbon and let it fall over the coverlet.

He saw the ball inside, furrowed his brow and pulled it out carefully, holding it up to the light he saw the liquid swirl and had an idea of what it was, he found the end with the tiny hole and placed it near his temple.

Grimmauld Place unfolded like a map in his mind, the kitchen was full of activity and he and Albus were seated at the far end of the long wooden table. Molly was bustling about and some of those redheaded children of hers were standing nearby. Severus remembered the scene well; the tone should have been celebratory now that he referenced the time line of events but many had been injured in the final battle, Harry was still at St. Mungo's recuperating from the Crucio he had sustained and of course Miss Granger was being treated right there at Grimauld Place. Severus' head was down and he was looking deeply into the mug that Molly had just placed before him.

"Have they located Nott yet? He is the biggest threat, I've alerted St. Mungo's and of course Miss Granger was moved here today for security purposes…" Albus shook his head slightly; weary and older…if Severus had to trace the beginning of his decline he would have to probably start from this very memory.

"Nott has been seen and I have a man on it, I must rendezvous with him at the Hogshead late tonight."

"Severus you look completely done in, finish your tea and go rest in one of the bedrooms upstairs." Dumbledore had raised his voice just loud enough for Molly to hear, in the memory Severus could see it was by design, he had been looking down but now he was sensing everything through Albus.

"Yes Severus, I've made up one of the spare bedrooms just this morning, have a good lie down and I'll make some stew for your supper." He saw Albus and Molly exchange worried glances but it seemed to be more than just worry about his own exhaustion.

As he was about to rise and follow their advice Charlie Weasley came down the stairs, he had come to aid in the aftermath of the war and had been instrumental in helping with the rounding up of stray deatheaters in the countryside. He was carrying a full tray in his hands.

"I told you she wouldn't touch this Mom, she's not a Weasley you know...that much food on one tray does not spur everyone's appetite."

Severus sensed that Dumbledore was feeling a deep disappointment over this statement and he watched as his memory self turned to the old man and queried,

"Is he speaking about Miss Granger?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so Severus, it seems her recovery has been halted"

Severus could sense how uncomfortable Dumbledore was feeling about the situation.

"Poppy has not healed her injuries?...she is usually very quick with ribs?"

In the memory Dumbledore looked surprised that Severus knew exactly what her injuries had been, this subtlety had escaped Snape during the event.

"It's not the ribs we are worried over."

Snape raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation but Molly had broken in;

"She just needs a bit of cheering up! Fred, George, Ginny, Charlie go up and talk with her, get her mind off the others."

The siblings did as they were told but wore doubtful expressions.

Snape turned to Dumbledore, "I don't understand?"

"Poor Hermione, remember Severus she's been working on this for a long time, since she was 11 and now she's a woman, 10 years of helping Harry to defeat Voldemort has taken its toll, her confidence is slipping, she saw many of her good friends and fellow students die…I think she's feeling she could have done more."

"More?...what more could she have done, she figured out where the deatheaters had taken Potter, she very wisely passed me the information and although I threatened her with death if she followed me she came anyway, but with enough reinforcements that allowed Potter and myself to come out alive."

"I know Severus but Hermione is a complicated person and she feels deeply for many people, not just one or a few…her type is rare."

He remembered the feeling of fatigue that overcame him at that moment in time, it was from his nonstop search for the dangerous deatheater, Nott but it was also from the overwhelming feeling that there was not one damn thing he could do for Miss Granger and although he didn't usually lean toward sentimentality over people, this just seemed wrong.

He rose to leave and find his bed upstairs, hoping that he could bypass seeing her on the way, his nerves were frayed from lack of sleep and he knew he couldn't face any emotion.

Albus followed him up the stairs talking of Nott, Harry and various other business, he heard it clear now but remembered ignoring him and not being able to concentrate at the time. They entered the living room in order to advance to the third floor when he saw her, she was sitting up on the couch, her legs outstretched covered by some jumble of material that Molly, no doubt, had transfigured into a throw cover, Charlie was seated next to her; Ginny at her feet and the twins occupied rocking chairs grouped near the fireplace, they were all laughing in a coaxing manner and when Severus spied Hermione he understood Albus' concern, she was listening but her expression was vacant, the usual spark and intensity was stolen from her eyes and her hands, which for as long as he could remember always seemed to be moving in some form of educational pursuit (turning pages, raising hand, or writing feverishly with a quill) were folded limp over the blanket.

He remembered that feeling he had, it was a stabbing sensation in the lower abdomen but now he felt Albus' remorse as well, it was a sadness so overwhelming tears began to well in his eyes even now, the sadness spoke to him in a whisper…not this one, no, not after all we have worked for, not to lose this one…she is after all why we continued on even after we thought there was no longer a point…if there was still a Miss Granger to fight for, to preserve…well, then perhaps, we could go on.

It took a moment for the emotion to subside before it registered what the others were speaking about;

"Come now Charlie, you know full well that I could name 5 top flight professional quidditch players that were from Gryffindor House." Fred remarked incredulously.

It seemed the scheme to cheer Miss Granger had disintegrated into a squabble over quidditch.

"I'm sure you could but what I'm saying is that generally the Gryffindor personality is too uneven to sustain the kind of superstar career as some of the former Slytherin and Ravenclaw players have managed to do over the years."

Fred and George said in unison, "rubbish"

Charlie looked up and saw Dumbledore and Snape standing just in the doorway leading from downstairs.

"Let's ask professor Snape what he thinks" Charlie looked to his old potions professor for a bit of assistance."

"I think professor Snape needs to retire, Charlie." Dumbledore smiled and winked at the group, as if to say …please do not bother him.

Snape watched his memory self seize the moment and without looking at anyone else but Hermione he formed, what he hoped, would be her cure.

"It is a comparison that has been brought forth many times I think, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin …who shall win. Well I shall always say Slytherin. We are smarter," Fred and George let out simultaneous shouts of protest while Charlie and Ginny laughed, "We have few friends, so the pull of sentimentality doesn't cloud our judgement…" He just saw her look over to him with a flicker of interest, Albus was catching on quickly with what he was trying to do, and Severus could sense his heart speed a bit at the idea. "We are far more focused and mature then our Gryffindor counterparts and lastly we know very well how to cut our losses, a grave weakness of some Gryffindor coaches."

She opened her mouth to speak and Snape could feel that he and Albus were one with anticipation.

"But what have you got in the end?" Hermione's eyes sparked with anger and she sat up straighter on the couch, Albus looked over to Severus and beamed with gratitude and love, he had her going…she was back. Severus' chest effused with warmth and energy, never had he felt so sure of his actions, never had he felt so…good,… but he watched as he proceeded to finish it out properly.

"In the end Miss Granger, I have myself… and that is all I need."

Her eyes glistened with tears but her expression was one of triumph and confidence.

Severus took the sphere from his temple, and lay back on his pillow, he closed his eyes and saw her face...he decided it was a special gift.


	10. Chapter 10

Merry Christmas

The great hall was all but deserted, Albus and Minerva had taken some things by floo to their new cottage early this morning and wouldn't be back until after the new year, Snape sat in the hall, sipping tea and testing the boundaries of his tender knee, it had stiffened that night in bed and he was considering a walk around the grounds to stretch it out when a very tired looking grey barn owl swooped down and deposited an envelope on top of his toast, the owl then proceeded to perch at the edge of the table, tittering on the verge of toppling down.

He slit the W seal with his wand and perused the contents.

Professor Severus Snape,

We would like to cordially invite you to a New Year's Eve party.

Nothing fancy just good food and friends.

Hope your knee is on the mend enough for you to attend.

Sincerely,

Arthur and Molly Weasley

Snape stared at the handwritten note, perhaps Molly was afterall a poor choice for Transfiguration teacher, especially if she did not have the sense to know that people wouldn't want to see him while they were trying to ring in the new year, and for that matter she should have realized he would rather teach Neville Longbottom legilimancy for a year rather than attend a party with her children…all his former students.

He slipped the note in his pocket and made to leave for his constitutional around the grounds, he winced at the poor cooperation his knee was giving him and snatched up his cane to alleviate the pressure.

The air was fresh and cool and the sun was pretending that it was an earlier month. He started off tentatively, down to the lake, to survey the woods and back but the walking was soothing and his knee was responding to the exercise so he decided to attempt a turn around the greenhouses as well, keeping in mind that how ever far he let himself stray it would be the same distance to get back.

The windows of the glass enclosures were covered in a white fog, the cold fresh air outside pressed up against the warm moist air inside with only a window to between them the tension produced a mist that hung between them.

He had passed greenhouse three and was nearly to the door of the fourth when a crashing sound came from behind him, he whirled, pulling his wand, crouching in a defensive posture and advanced with caution.

"Who's there! Show yourself at once!" Snape had advanced to the door turned the handle and let it open the rest of the way on its own, not wanting to get caught off guard by someone laying in wait behind the opening.

He surveyed the room, all was quiet and then a head emerged from under the back work table.

"Miss Granger?" He looked about the room for anyone else or signs of foul play.

"Don't be alarmed professor Snape. I promised Professor Sprout I'd tend to her winter plants while she's visiting her sister…" Snape had walked in further, leaning heavily on his cane, the sudden stance he had taken outside had caused him to twist it and it was smarting… Hermione's eyes had fallen to the cane, distracted by seeing Snape using an aid, she continued, "…when I moved around the table to reach these Amarylis flowers my foot got caught in some heavy planters that were sticking out from under the table."

Snape immediately rounded the corner of the table, standing on the same side as Hermione, looking down to inspect where she had tripped.

"You are uninjured?" His tone was soft and questioning, hopeful in a way that Hermione had not thought him capable.

She looked up at him and felt a wash of emotion come over her, she averted her eyes, knowing rationally that he was not reading her thoughts but not wanting to betray her feelings through looks… " yes, yes, perfectly fine."

While she looked away Snape had unconsciously shrugged his robes forward and pulled his arm that was leaning on the cane, backward, hiding the crutch in the folds of black material.

"Professor Sprout has always been a bit disorganized." He commented. Hermione couldn't help but look up with a smile in her eyes, Professor Snape never spoke of the other teachers, bad or good, well except Trelawny and Dumbledore.

Hermione laughed, "It was my fault, truly, I wasn't looking where I was going and lost my footing." Hermione reached down to pick up the watering can she had dropped and with her wand she pieced back together the pots that had cracked when they toppled over.

"While I have my wand out would you like some tea professor? When you opened the green house door a chill came through."

Snape eyed her, unsure of whether to accept, but he found himself saying yes without realizing it was he who was speaking.

Hermione smiled and drew the tea things around her, to his surprise she let them settle on the table and she began to manually prepare the pot and put the water on to boil, her small hands had memorized the procedure and there was something comforting about watching her while standing in this overly humid room, heavy with the perfume of soil and flowers. He backed up and took a seat on what looked to be an old barstool, shaking his head slightly from the almost intoxicating surroundings.

As he watched her level the tea into a tarnished tea ball he thought of Sprout, they were in her house now, earthy and unkempt, he thought back to when he first met her, hair still dark black, less wiry and something of a definable figure, at first he derided her in his mind, thinking; messy woman, messy teacher, but as the weeks and months passed and he was thrown together with her time and time again at staff meetings, meals and quidditch matches he had decided that although her appearance was frousy he respected her for her realism. One conversation in particular always tugged a smile to his mouth which he thought summed up Sprout to perfection, he thought of it now and couldn't help a laugh escape.

Hermione looked up at him curios and infected by his light mood. "Professor Snape, I know that this must surely be Christmas, and although I have never spent the occasion in your company I'm now convinced that it is a special event, for this is the very first time that I have seen you laugh…uh correction…the first time I've seen you laugh without the least bit of sarcasm, unless of course I've spilled the tea down my front and not realized it." Hermione made to look down the front of her shirt, searching to see if any brown stains had been made.

He smirked at her, "No Miss Granger, you remain unstained. I was thinking of Professor Sprout if you must know."

" And the thought of her makes you laugh?" Hermione raised her brow quizzically.

I do not as a general rule collect or recant stories about people but there was one from my very first Christmas at Hogwarts as a potions professor…" Hermione covered the teapot with a cloth, setting it to steep and turned her attention to Snape, she had pulled up a stool as well and placed her chin in her upturned palms. "…Now you must remember that I was at that time the youngest professor at Hogwarts, coming from dubious circumstances, and looking every inch the brooding intellectual…" Hermione smiled at his self deprecating tone.

"In those days McGonagall still sat to Albus' right but next to her was Poppy, myself and professor Sprout was on my immediate right.

"Surrounded by women?"

"Surrounded indeed, and between Poppy and McGonagall an intense campaign launched to save my soul." His hand flew up to his head while he shook back the thoughts. " It was Poppy first, she started on my health; I evidently would be fine in the hereafter if I could just get more exercise and drink 8 glasses of pumpkin juice per day. Then Minerva began, she devised a plan to have me married off and living in Hogsmead villiage before I turned 30."

Hermione was choking back the laughter, unsure whether he thought this at all amusing or if it was just irritating to him.

"Laugh Miss Granger if you will but think of me the next time someone makes you their personal project. I thought for a while that in accepting Albus' generous offer to stay at Hogwarts I had fallen out of the proverbial frying pan and into the fire."

"But how did you get them to stop and how does professor Sprout have anything to do with it?"

"Well it went on and on from October to December, each one almost trying to outdo the other with 'love and concern', and plans for my future. Sprout never said a word, like myself she didn't have many friends and when she came for meals it was usually only the food that lured her out. It was a particularly cold Christmas that year inside and out and the two women were at a fever pitch of ideas that would leave me tender, loved, warm and I believe in one scenario I was dancing with one of their nieces, who truth be told only used her 2 inch thick spectacles for distances of more than a yard away."

Hermione was dabbing at tears in the corners of her eyes from laughing so hard. "…but what did Sprout do?"

"Well by the end of the meal, as you can imagine I wanted nothing more than to melt under my seat and disappear in the floorboards, evidently Sprout had reached her breaking point as well."

She rose from her seat and came round behind them, placing a hand on each shoulder she drew them close; "Ladies, some trees in the forest grow in curled and gnarled patterns, they do everything to avoid other trees and find their own unique way of reaching the sky, this is what makes a deep forest interesting… and I think beautiful. Now let's stop all this nonsense and put our minds on the pudding!"

"I came to think of her differently that day." Snape looked away from Hermione when he noticed that her eyes were shining with a different type of tear.

" I am sure you have many stories about people filed away but I like the one that you decided to share."

With that came a loud rap at the door, "Afternoon to ya Hermione…" Hagrid waved from the door and looked puzzled by the scene, "…Oh and a Happy Christmas, of course to the both of ya."

"Happy Christmas, Hagrid." Hermione jumped off her stool and went round the table to embrace the half giant.

" Oh, you're a good girl there…" Hagrid was the only one who still called Hermione a girl and Snape felt a strange sense of jealousy at the notion that such an allowance was reserved only for him.

"I've made some treacle fudge for all." Hagrid rummaged inside his massive fur vest and produced to semi dirty white boxes, that in his hands appeared to be the size of a small box of candy but when the recipients took possession they appeared to have grown to the size of shirt boxes.

Hermione carefully opened hers to reveal the hard as rock fudge that Hagrid was famous for. "Well Hagrid you've outdid yourself with the batch this year." He looked very proud as he handed one to professor Snape. "Don't know if you care for sweets professor?"

Hermione flashed Snape a pleading look and he sensed what he must do immediately.

"Thank you Hagrid."

Hermione had never seen Hagrid so pleased, it caused her to give professor Snape a beaming look of gratitude.

"I also came to tell you Mione that I'll look in on Pomona's hot house stuff if you want ter go to Ron's for the party."

"Thanks Hagrid, but why aren't you coming?"

"Oh well, Molly understands, I'm not much on a crowd, better one on one, ya know."

"Sure Hagrid, I'll see you when I come back."

Snape chuckled inwardly, Hagrid seemed to be holding the key to getting what he wanted; to not have to attend parties and others would understand, admit to liking solitude and not be thought of as a recluse, calling Hermione various pet names, and lastly, making what could quite possibly be the worst looking Christmas sweet and have everyone think that they are a wonderful tradition. Snape scolded himself and uttered quietly as the giant said his goodbyes, "…and to think I accused him of lacking subtleties."

Once Hagrid was gone Hermione turned to Snape and took his box out of his hand. "You must never eat anything Hagrid gives you, unless you want to lose all your teeth."

Snape laughed at her honesty and willingly gave up the box. While she was obliterating the fudge so as not to leave any traces of it behind that Hagrid could find Snape thought of his Slytherins that would have to leave Hogwarts next term to possibly live in an 'institutional settings', it gave him a chill to think of the bleak surroundings, it was true he never partook in the festivities of the Holiday but on those rare occasions that he had found himself not at Hogwarts it was even more depressing. These dark thoughts forced him to seek advice on what to do.

" I have a serious problem Miss Granger."

She whirled from the last bit of disintegrating fudge to face him.

"Professor?"

"The ministry is punishing the deatheaters that are still alive in Azkaban further by seizing their accounts, they are planning to redistribute all their assets to the families that were hurt severely during the war." He knew she would understand the implication immediately and he was gratified when her mouth formed the small "oh" of understanding.

"What can we do for the students, I know of at least four including Mr. Watts."

" I have been trying to think of a solution since I received the letter but none seem suitable, especially if I am not here to help execute the plan."

A silence fell between them and they both thought on their recent behaviour in respect to the subject of him leaving. Hermione was the first to break the silence and it was clear that she thought she may be on to something.

"Must you live at Hogwarts if you are Headmaster?"

"It is a good idea…problems arise in the evening almost as often as during the day…I'm sure you can vouch for this from your own schooldays." He gave her a knowing glance and she responded with a smirk.

"But with this new time of peace we can have an open floo network with the headmaster?"

"Perhaps but how does this solve the Slytherin problem?"

"I know of a house in the village, it is a bit rundown but it would be nothing for us to clean and repair it, perhaps a day or two of work. We, or should I say you could purchase it, you will need a place to live now that you are leaving Hogwarts, you could have the displaced students come and live with you,…under the name of help with the house and perhaps private research that you are doing into certain potions. If you apply to the ministry they may even partially fund you. It could take several years to resolve this problem with the children of deatheaters so there would always be a place for them."

"And school tuition? How could I manage that as well?"

"Well maybe, as headmaster you could open a few spots to students that would be willing to help the teachers with jobs that the house elves can't do, like in the classroom?"

"I had wanted to divorce myself further than Hogsmeade when I decided that I was leaving?"

"Maybe so sir, but sometimes other things are more important."

"I will think on it, thank you for your suggestion."

Hermione's heart sank, she sensed that he thought it a bad idea and now she would be left to sort out this mess alone.

Snape saw her spirits sink and changed the subject, "What does one do at a Weasley New Years Eve party?"

The question was so formal and stiff Hermione laughed, but she saw that Snape was serious so she told him in earnest.

"Well, we have wonderful food that Molly and Arthur prepare, we reminisce about the events of the past year, we toast our accomplishments, speak fondly of anyone who has passed on and then we say what our resolutions are for the coming year."

"Resolutions?"

"Yes, um… ways we can better ourselves or the way we do things. The resolution itself is more of a token gesture but it signifies that we have been evaluating and critiquing ourselves.

"Sounds suspiciously like work."

"Not really, by that time we've all had a few drinks and its fun to listen to everyone's ideas."

"You truly are a social person."

Hermione ignored the pseudo compliment and continued. " When it gets very close to midnight, ten seconds prior, we count down, and when the New Year comes we make lots of noise and give a kiss to the person we're standing next to." She looked up at him, comprehension dawning.

"Are you asking me this because you are invited?"

"Yes, but I don't think it would be right…no, not the right place…for me."

Hermione didn't know what to say so she went into logical mode; well if you were invited by Arthur and Molly than that is two people that think it would be alright and I will be there, as well as Albus and Minerva if they are up to the evening, so you see quite a few people would think it very suitable and even enjoyable if you were there."

Snape nodded his head in thanks for that but rose from his stool and steadied himself on his cane. " I have much correspondence and papers to sort out. Thank you for the tea and well…Merry Christmas Miss Granger."

Hermione nodded in assent and new the last phrase had cost him.

Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Later that evening Severus went to the edge of the school grounds and disaparated to Dumbledore and Minerva's cottage. It was white stone with a thatched roof, small billows of smoke were rising from the chimney.

He was treated to a festive dinner but halfway through Albus' energy flagged and they retired to the living room in front of the fire, Minerva had gone off to visit a relative while Severus kept Albus company.

"My boy you are looking pensive on Christmas, are there troubles at the school?"

Severus hesitated but decided to tell Albus about the group of Slytherins effected by the new Ministry decree, he also half jokingly explained Hermione's possible solution.

Albus was silent and Severus thought for a moment he had gone to sleep. " Hermione Granger never ceases to amaze me and I am very hard to amaze anymore."

"You think her plan is viable? I don't think the ministry would help with the funds?"

"Perhaps Miss Granger could talk to a very good friend of hers at the ministry that everyone seems delighted in these days, I believe his name is, Harry Potter."

"Hmm…I had not thought of that possibility…but it would have to come from her."

"Who better, she is a wonderful writer…why she'll have them convinced to give you carte blanche before they finish the first paragraph…but…"Dumbledore knitted his brows.

" But what." Severus was curious.

"She lacks a title…yes she is potions professor but that lacks clout with the administrative types."

Severus knew Albus was an expert on these policy matters, he had to learn all the ins and outs when Voldemort's supporters were peppering the ministry.

"Do you think she would accept Deputy Headmistress?" He asked so benignly a normal person would have thought it had just popped into his head but Severus knew better.

"Before I go another step I want to know how long you have been planning this?"

"Planning? This is the first I've heard of your predicament."

Severus tried to read his old professor's eyes but even now he was always unsure.

"I don't want to be controlled by anyone anymore." Snape rose and poured, with his hands, another drink for himself.

Albus shifted in his chair and steepled his hands together, reminiscent of bygone days.

"Severus, we are all to some extent trying to control one another, it is the way of humans and wizards, those of us that believe we are enlightened try to follow laws so that each person is protected from the whims of others. It could be said, by your reasoning that you are trying to control those Slytherin children, by providing a shelter and a place for schooling, filling their head with the notion that they matter, that the path which you are providing is the only conceivable alternative."

Snape nodded his head in agreement with the logic, he could not dispute Albus, he was in his own way controlling situations. He thought of Molly and how her presence at Hogwarts would serve him two purposes, the Slytherins with the bogus scholarships, the ones he was outright paying for their tuition.

"My boy I think you have always cared very deeply for people but are only recently able to express it, don't confuse interest and love with control."

Minerva returned shortly after, they all had one nightcap, commented on Filius' decorations and called it a night.


	11. Chapter 11

The Slytherin problem had haunted Severus Christmas night and for the rest of the week, he was lost in thought, unable to focus on any of the other pressing matters for next term. Finally, in desperation and with a weary soul he turned to the one activity in which he could always find calm… the lab room, it was dark and deserted, Miss Granger had given it a thorough cleaning before the holidays, but Snape knew where everything was, like a grown child revisiting a beloved playroom. Miss Granger had kept up his storage system, all ingredients alphabetized by the Latin prefix, cauldrons in descending size order, stirrers organized by weight, with respect to the quality of the forge and the value of the metal. He prowled through the ingredients, checking the levels, if anything was needed for next semester that had been omitted from her supply list. He took a midsize cauldron down, turned on the heat and began gathering ingredients, working quickly to add each herb and root at the proper moment, his intellect was filled with the procedure but his imagination wandered, swirling like the gentle steam that rose from the iron pot.

…And what of this house in Hogsmeade that she speaks of….he suspected it was the three story behind the candy shop…ridiculous to live behind a candy shop…although there was that tunnel in the basement, that could be accessed in the basement of the home, just a few spells and a proper tunnel could hook into the passageway…it must have a large attic and at least 5 other bedrooms, but the condition must be poor, it's been neglected for as long as anyone could remember, although that would help with the price.

The pepper-up simmered and Severus stepped back from the cauldron, the ingredients would have to meld for at least 20 minutes so he lit a fire in the fireplace and conjured a chair, his hand ran through his hair and for just a few seconds he saw the future in the flames.

…The living room was a parlor style, a large window faced the street, a deep red rug from the orient covered the floor, he was sitting in the corner at his roll top desk, the door slammed and three boys came bounding in, dropping bags and brooms in the hallway, he sees himself, look up, annoyed…stern.

"There will be an earlier than usual bedtime if you can not manage to store your personal items in the proper place."

The boys race to pick up their things good naturedly and then run for the stairs, the younger one falls down two steps, in his enthusiasm to be first, Snape sees himself rise as if to check on him but someone makes it to the child before him, it's Miss Granger and she is patting his arm and helping him up, he disappears up the stairs and they are left alone together.

"I came to see if you need help with the children this weekend. I have finished all my grading early and had the idea to make a special dinner for them; he realized that she had a few shopping bags behind her.

Fantasy or possibility?…. He considered Albus' advice the night he lay in the hospital wing… " You could have everything you've been looking at through your window." He shook his head and pulled his hair from his eyes, the cauldron had simmered unattended long enough, there was work to be done.

Hermione took care in preparing for the Weasley's party. It would be a relaxing evening, one that she was not in charge of, she smiled when she thought of Mrs. Weasley attending to everyone, making sure that each guest had as much drink and food as would satisfy them, she would dote on Harry as usual and he would be bashful about the attention, but all the while be drinking in the atmosphere. After having finished dressing in her new dark midnight blue robes and checking herself in the mirror she was ready to descend to the entrance hall, walk the path to the gates and apparate. On her way down her comforting thoughts were interrupted by Terry Watts, he was coming up the stairs as she was coming down.

He looked pale and drawn, gripping the banister. Before Hermione could enquire he launched a fit of coughing that sounded too deep in the chest to be a normal cold.

"Terry you aren't feeling well, how long have you been ill?"

He looked up, "…just a few days professor."

Hermione remained on the step and brought forth her hand from inside her robes and rested it on his forehead. He leaned into her cool hand and Hermione was moved by this vulnerable gesture.

"Come…I'm taking you to Madame Pomfrey."

Once they reached the infirmary Hermione realized that Madame Pomfrey had left already for a planned outing with her sister.

"Madame Pomfrey is away on Holiday today."

"Ah good…" Terry said, before succumbing to another bout of lung clearing.

Hermione eyed him worriedly, "…it is no matter, and I know what to do."

Hermione led Terry to a bed and instructed him to discard his outer robes and lie down, she drew out her wand and set about diagnosing him, and within minutes she knew he had a fever and chest cold.

"May I leave now Professor?" he looked up expectantly but without much resolve.

"Terry, your fever is quite high, I don't think you should be alone in the dungeon tonight, it can be draughty down there." She crossed the room to the medicine cabinet, catching her reflection in the windowpane, she had forgotten how formally she was dressed and that she had done up her hair, she shrugged her shoulders at her reflection and opened the cabinet door, rifling through the potion bottles for some pepper-up and a fever reducer, snatching both from the back row, she made a mental note to brew more over the weekend. When she closed the door of the cabinet, the glass window reflected not only herself but Snape as well, standing behind her, holding a crate of potion bottles, she startled at his image.

"I didn't hear you come in." She looked up to him

He observed her for a few drawn out moments before asking, "You are not well Miss Granger?" His voice was infused with question and concern.

Hermione wondered for a moment why he would think she was ill and then caught on.

"Oh sir, these are not for me…" she showed him the two potion vials she had just acquired.

Snape seemed at a loss but didn't break his steady gaze.

"Over here…" she gestured to where Terry lay, between sleep. " It is Mr. Watts…" she turned to Snape and in a low voice offered, "He has a high fever and a bad cough."

Snape watched her leave his side and walk over to Terry's, the boy lay limp, his black hair falling over half his face. She reached out and touched his cheek with the back of her hand, her head shook almost imperceptibly in retaliation of the fever that she felt. Snape moved around to watch her more closely while she gently brought Terry's head high enough to drink in the potions, after which he fell back, completely spent from the exercise. He watched as Hermione transfigured a glass of water to a white basin and then conjured a large cloth from a discarded pillowcase, she dipped the cloth into the basin and began bathing Terry with cool water.

"Poppy is gone already" Severus knew the mediwitch religiously visited her sister over the holidays but didn't know exactly when she was due to leave.

"Yes, this morning I think." Hermione didn't look up from her task.

Severus let his eyes linger on them, still holding the crate of potions, oblivious to the weight, instead lost in the gentle movements and care with which Miss Granger was attending to the boy. I could never do that, he thought…but then again an institution wouldn't either.

He shook off the notion and began stocking the heavy wooden medicine cabinet across the room. Halfway through Terry started choking and coughing, Severus dashed over to his other side, Hermione already had him sitting up, patting his back. She looked up to Severus, noting the concern in his eyes… " I know it sounds awful but it's more productive now and I think his fever is subsiding too."

Terry flopped back, exhausted from the fit and nestled down into the covers, Severus raised them up to his shoulders.

"He'll sleep now, the potions are doing their job." Hermione spoke with confidence while she drew up a straight back chair to the bedside.

"Miss Granger it is not necessary for you to stay, you have your party this evening."

"Oh I don't mind, there something about him…" she gestured to the boy, "… that makes me feel old and young at the same time…" checking to make sure that he was indeed asleep she continued, " I am at once nostalgic for my days with Harry, Terry's curiosity and intensity remind me of him, but I suppose my mother instincts are coming out now as well…I'm not getting any younger.'

Severus couldn't help but laugh even though he could see that Hermione was hurt by his response. "Miss Granger I concluded that you were born old after the first three months you took your first potions class, but perhaps not as smart as I thought you were if it took you this long to realize that you have mothering instincts…I don't think half the boys in Gryffindor, in your year, would have passed their Owls or Newts if you hadn't had mothering instincts.

She chuckled along with him, "Well that's true I suppose."

They both looked down at the young boy sleeping, all thoughts of their own selves dissolved in a mixture of concern and worry over his health and future.

Severus thought of Hermione's comment about Terry reminding her of Harry and without thinking he uttered a comment he heard Albus say about Harry a long time ago.

"He is a good boy."

Hermione, of course thought Severus meant Terry and she nodded her agreement without looking up.

"What exactly is going on here?"

Severus and Hermione were taken by surprise when Poppy swung open the doors to the infirmary.

"Poppy you are on holiday" Severus creased his brow at her presence.

"No, my sister and I called it an early evening, I suspected someone might be ill, the Wizard's flu is everywhere in London this season." She stepped around her two colleagues to see who was stricken.

"Mr. Watts is it, yes I thought he looked a bit peaky at dinner last night."

Severus suppressed a smile at the mediwitches prowess while he walked over to the medicine cabinet to finish his stocking.

Poppy glanced at Hermione. "What has he had already?"

"Fever reducer and pepper-up"

"Good work." Poppy eyed Hermione with a clinical perceptiveness.

"Miss Granger you are looking very pretty this evening and I believe you are supposed to be attending a party. Minerva informed me yesterday that the three of you would be gone from the castle."

"Oh it's not that important and it's getting a bit late."

"Nonsense, Mr. Watts is fine now and I believe New Year's Eve parties last quite late. It would be a shame to waste that pretty hair on just Severus and me." Poppy uncharacteristically teased. "Isn't that right Severus?"

Snape kept his back turned to his work but after a moment replied, "All is not lost on me"

Poppy winked quickly at Hermione and walked over to Terry to check his fever.

Hermione, flushed by the compliment quietly made her way over to him.

"Would you not reconsider and come with me to Molly's, it would be a wonderful time to ask her about the Transfiguration position?" She gave him a plausible excuse to come and hoped against hope that he would accept the offer.

He had finished his task, his crate was empty, and he closed the cabinet and turned to find Hermione closer than he thought.

"I could discuss a few things with Minerva as well."

They walked silently to the gates, their minds so inflated with thoughts of each other that they seemed to float down the hill. They apparated just outside the house and both caught a scene unfolding in the warmth of the light from inside. The twins were spinning Ginny round in one corner of the room, Molly was serving drinks, and Arthur was stoking the fire.

A stab of longing hit Severus and by some long forgotten instinct he searched for Hermione's hand to hold. They stared on as if watching a film.

"A full house has its attractions." His voice was raspy as if from disuse.

Hermione afraid to look up nodded in agreement

They were just about to break off when Albus emerged from the kitchen doorway, supported by Harry. They made their way to the hearth and Mr. Weasley drew a chair close, gesturing for Albus to sit. Harry handed him down gently, leaning over with the utmost care. Albus thanked him with a wink and brought his hand up to touch his cheek.

"I told you he was a good boy." Severus whispered the long ago words for the second time in one evening.

Hermione squeezed his hand gently in agreement and recognition of his meaning.

"We will freeze soon."

"Yes" she laughed.

They entered and all erupted into greetings, Hermione was passed around as if she were a holiday candy dish and Severus settled into a chair Molly conjured for him next to Albus

The evening, raucous at times, quieted down at quarter to twelve, Molly handed out drinks and everyone left the comfort of their seats to toast the passing of old friends and to the friends that remain.

The twins were standing by an open window, fireworks poised for detonation and they had begun a countdown.

"I think you should take those outside the house to light them." Hermione had emerged from the kitchen, having missed the toast, Molly beckoned her over and handed her some champagne, exchanging places with her so she could presumably get more drinks.

"They have had you working in the kitchen?" Severus quipped.

"Yes but Arthur shooed me out for the countdown."

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…"

The twins set off the fireworks that whirled and screamed out past the garden. Severus turned to Albus to comment on the twin's lack of self control but realized the old headmaster was kissing Minerva, in fact it seemed the whole room was engaged in a kiss, even Mr. Potter had corned the young Weasley girl.

"Would you mind professor." Hermione, by his side rose up on her toes and he knelt down to meet her, she gave him a soft kiss upon the cheek.

"Happy New Year, Severus."No one had noticed, they had all been otherwise engaged and Severus wasn't sure how he felt about that, part of him wanted to quit the place at once and part of him wanted all eyes upon he and Hermione, giving what just happened validity.

Molly brought more drinks around and Severus was beginning to see the beauty of a Weasley New Year's Eve party.

The guests relaxed in chairs and on the floor and Arthur emerged from the kitchen, complete with apron at the waist and tea towel slung over his shoulder, holding a glass of champagne.

"And now we must hear the resolutions." Severus noticed the younger ones groaned a bit at their father's pronouncement but they dutifully straightened up, ready to make a go at his request.

"Well, I shall start." Albus raised a hand and smiled, all eyes grew soft, looking on to their beloved grandfather figure.

"It has come to my attention that over the years I have become a bit controlling…" their was a hum of disagreement around the room. " you are all to kind to tell me the truth but thankfully I have someone who is not…so, my resolution is to simply enjoy all of you, your endeavors, your stories, your lives.

"Here, Here" Arthur raised his glass and everyone drank to the resolution.

Next it was Harry's turn, never far from Albus at any occasion.

"Well mine is boring I suppose… to finish my Auror training and to work hard to make things safe for everyone."

"That doesn't sound boring to me, it sounds perfectly lovely." Molly smiled with watery eyes.

She dried them quickly for now it was her turn, " Well, I think my resolution is to think of what I would like to do with my life now that all my children have graduated from school. I have just received news today that has made me think that perhaps it is time to do something outside this house for a while." She nodded her head at Severus and smiled.

Hermione, seated on the floor near the hearth cleared her throat, "my resolution is to try to get the houses of Hogwarts to become less divided."

"Good luck!" the twins said in unison.

Severus scowled at them and they went back to their fireworks.

"Severus, my boy, it's your turn." Albus turned to see if he would respond.

"Hmm…a resolution… I think that I shall buy a house in the New Year.

The words were lost on the likes of Harry, Ginny, Fred, and George but there were a few that knew this resolution meant much more.


	12. Looking to the future

"**_Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again._**

**_ Wisely improve the present, it is thine._**

**_ Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart."_**

_Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_

The house was in some disrepair, having been neglegted for some twenty years. Snape was walking about the small garden noting the exterior work that would need to be done immediately, in order to make it livable.

He knew there would be at least 4 boys that would need a place to stay in order to avoid being sent to an orphanage, or whatever name they gave to those places now. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache had been his morning companion, drawing him back into reality after his evening at the Weasley's. What had he promised? A resolution no less.

The agent for the house emerged on the front steps, being careful not to use the banister, as Snape had already spied was dangerously rickety.

"Professor, you have a great eye for a bargain. The detail in the woodwork alone puts this house into a class by itself."

"A class by itself…" Snape snorted to himself noting that this was the first accurate sentence the snake before him had managed to hiss.

They negotiated for a quarter of an hour and agreed on a price that Snape was less dissatisfied with than he let on.

When the agent departed, promising to be back the next day with the contract Snape went inside and sat down on a discarded stool in front of the cold fireplace, unable to once again conjure a view into the future. His resolve was waning and the whole idea of setting up house seemed preposterous...

"This place is perfectly wonderful…it's just how I imagined it!" Hermione stood in the parlor entrance glowing from the cold outside.

"I saw the agent leaving and presumed you were inside. I hope you don't mind but I have always been curious about this house and just had to see inside."

Snape, trying to shake his sullen mood rose and gestured that she could have the run of the place.

"Anything to satisfy Miss Granger's curiosity." He quipped

Hermione was a bit stung by his sarcasm, she had had such a wonderful evening at the Weasley's the night before and was hoping that Snape was going to permanently start treating her …well differently…was all she could admit to herself at the moment.

"Thank you." She replied.

She went upstairs and looked in the bedrooms, which needed work; paint, wallpaper, general cleaning. The upstairs lavatories were leaking and the master bedroom had a vine growing through one of the windows.

She descended back down and found Snape on the floor of the kitchen looking under the stove with his wand lit. He shook his head in disgust.

"Well the stove is unusable in its present state. I'll have to buy a new one, repair charms will only hold it together for so long."

Hermione sensed that he was feeling overwhelmed, not only by the house repairs but by the scheme of taking in the boys.

She shed her outer cloak, rolled up her sleeves and pulled out her wand.

"We've got a lot of work to do here so let's get started."

He turned to her, amused by her stance…

"There is always a solution for you, isn't there Miss Granger?...given enough time and books you will surely be able to sove it?"

She looked at him and smiled, "Of course."

He shook his head in disbelief that it could seem all so straight forward to her.

"Come sir, you know this is right, the details will fall into place."

He shrugged. Details were all that he ever thought about up until now, details had kept him alive.

"I find it difficult not to dwell on details Miss Granger, for so long they were my lifeline."

Hermione felt off balance, she was navigating unchartered waters with Snape and she didn't want to say anything jarring, lest he withdraw completely.

" But change is inevitable professor, you told me yourself, and I have come to believe you, with this changing time why not try a new approach, look to the future without trepidation, each step you take cannot be overanalyzed or you will surely fall, look up to your destination and know that if you stumble once or twice you are still headed in the right direction."

Snape listened carefully and smiled ruefully after she was finished.

"Perhaps." He shed his outer cloak as well and retrieved his wand from the stove top.

"I believe the bedrooms are first on the list." He passed by her with a stride that spoke of fortitude and Hermione could not have been more pleased. Her heart warmed to him even more than the night before, his bravery now surpassed even that which he displayed during his tenure as spy, for now there was no debt to pay, it was all out of goodness.


	13. The end to a beginning

**Authors Note:** I want to thank everyone that has followed this story and for their reviews. I think our imaginations can play upon the rest.

The Great Hall had been turned into a chapel. The ceiling was blank, there would be no storms, or stars or snow.

The news had come just three days after Snape had moved his things to the new house. It was Potter, of all people, that found him wrestling with the vine in the upstairs bedroom.

"Professor Snape, ….uh…it's about Dumbledore."

Severus turned when the voice registered.

He turned to him in confusion, " What's that you say?"

But when he saw the face…he knew. There had always been that slightest of recognition in their expressions to each other. Potter knew, in some way he understood the friendship, the need, the guilt.

Snape sat down on the bed, the wind of 20 years had been taken from his chest and he groaned low and guttural.

Harry turned to leave but stopped on Severus' words, " Minerva…Miss Granger?"

"They are at the school, it happened last night at the cottage…Professor McGonagall said it was quiet and they had talked before."

"I'm coming" Snape rose and followed Potter back to the school.

And now he stood before all the old faces, unprepared and feeling unsure that he should be the one to begin.

I know not where to begin…there is so much …talking of other things may lead the way. He cleared his throat from a rasp that had started the moment he heard the news, his voice usually in command betrayed him now.

I am beginning a new chapter in what has become a surprisingly long tale. My life. At one time it looked as if the story would end most abruptly after my school days, poor judgement and disposition led me into dark times but forward I find myself moving.

Children are to invade my solitude not only by day but night as well." Here he gave a small sigh and even a laugh. "The irony is a masterwork and I'm quite sure that our friend for whom we are gathered today laughed deeply upon this fact in his recent retirement.

Recently, with the help of friends, and students it has become evident to me that I must check my old fears and habits of survival and strike out in plain sight no longer cloaked in secrecy and deception. It has been to long that I have only acted upon details; details of information or misinformation, details of rules and regulations.

Change is inevitable, I have told someone of late…" Here he looked down on Hermione losing himself for a moment in her teary smile. "… and now I must live up to this and guide my actions by what experience has truly shown me instead of dwelling on shadowy grievances and ancient grudges." Here he eyed Remus Lupin in the crowd and nodded instinctively.

This all may seem off the point when we are here for a memorial to Albus Dumbledore but to me it is the very essence of him. My story would have ended long ago if he had not protected me, gave me purpose and the time to mature.

As for my own comfort I will keep Albus very close with me when working at my many tasks; Headmaster, Guardian, Professor, friend and perhaps some day even …husband." He dared not look to Hermione.

I only hope the change that has been wrought in me will prove to those that did not know him personally what they had missed.

Eyes followed him as he took a seat next to Miss Granger. He reached for her hand and with only a glance he threw upwards the ceiling shown blue and birds flitted between the rafters.


End file.
